Author Archives: JimArnoldLA

Ben Schmidt – a biography of the lead character in “Benefits”

I live vicariously through Ben Schmidt. You might say he’s a version of me in some other, more extroverted dimension. Or maybe not. I don’t know that for sure, but he does do things I would never do.

I just know that I created Ben when I wrote “Benediction” awhile back, to help me deal with my feelings around having cancer. Not just the feelings, but also the narrative. Cause it was a good story – at least I thought so. And it served its purpose of being therapeutic.

When I was inventing the fictional biography, one of the prompts I read in the many books I consulted was “which Hollywood star would play your character in the movie version of the novel?”

At the time I thought of two actors I liked / thought were handsome, and I guess these two still would be awesome choices for a movie of “Benediction” or “Benefits.”

Dermot Mulroney

Viggo Mortensen

Here, then, is the bio:

Ben Schmidt (Benjamin Kanner Schmidt, full name)

Male
5-10
53 (in 2010), born in 1957, in Milwaukee
slender/muscular (good shape for age)
most striking feature is his blue eyes
brown hair with some gray around the temples, natural
Ben wears preppy clothes to work
Ben wears jeans and t-shirts for leisure
Ben’s clean-shaven. Sometimes he lets that five o’clock shadow thing go.
Ben has a tattoo on his LEFT shoulder, a bleeding heart
Ben’s half German, half Irish. No one ever guesses. Sometimes, people ask him if he’s Jewish.
Health: he thought it was good. Other than cancer, he’s pretty healthy!
Special interests: staying sober or not, making movies, movies, gay sex…

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Profession: Marketing. Wants to be a film director, though. That’s the secret passion. (Somewhat subdued in sequel)
Income: low six figures (in “Benediction” – that goes away in “Benefits”)
Residence: rental, San Francisco, funky, mice (a house in “Benefits”)
Talent: good at the big picture, shrewd, has a good BS detector
Single, gay
Good reputation both business and personal, although he is known among his friends for having a lot of boyfriends in succession, never seems to keep one for very long – until Jake.
Having affair with Jake upstairs. Also, fuckbuddy Eric. Has a roving eye and will have at least two other affairs during the course of this book, one with a cancer doctor, the other with an Italian at a film festival. SIDEKICK? (yes, that is Karen Kling) – different and more affairs in “Benefits” – he’s still horny.
Loves: going out to nice restaurants. Listening to old rock and roll (keeps this a secret) Going to the movies alone, on the spur of the moment, going on vacations to tropical places
Hates cooking, doing laundry, going to work on time, listening to bosses, going to meetings at work.

Children: he has none. But – he likes kids well enough Special relationship with brother Vince’s small children? (nieces and nephews). This all changes in “Benefits.”

Pets: Had a dog who died that he never got over. Her name was Connie. She was a dachshund.

Hidden, secret weakness: wants to get high all the time. Wants drugs. Also, believes he is a worthless person sometimes, Glenda really reinforces that.

Dream for the future: Wants to stop working at what he’s doing and be more creative, like being a movie director. Heavy belief in magic, a flaw, and part of this is his vision of the Dead Dudes.

Parents:

Mother, Margaret. Father: Anthony Schmidt. They are divorced. Margaret Schmidt volunteers and is from a wealthy German family that makes toilet fixtures. Anthony is retired, and lives in Florida with a much younger woman, who is an entrepreneur. Beauty schools. What’s her name? Jackie. He was an electrical engineering professor at MSOE.

Siblings: Sister, Ellen in Madison. Brother, Vince in Milwaukee. Their families? Ellen is divorced, no children. Vince is married and has some kids.

Hometown: Milwaukee, moved away after college.

Grew up in a semi-mansion overlooking Lake Michigan. Sex and drugs as a teen in the park nearby, pretty standard.

Education: Bachelor’s degree in English. Grad School drop-out

Always wanted to be: a gymnast – still dreams about this on occasion. More magic, as he is in his 50s.

Frightened by: the dark, thunder, gangs of straight teenage boys

Angered by: People who are not as smart as he. Not patient. Fate, when it doesn’t go his way. Things he cannot control.

Is annoyed by: lack of a sense of humor, dullness, people who can’t make up their minds.

Is attracted by: directness, a smile, competence.

Finds this funny: Tom Hanks, the Republicans, AbFab, Margaret Cho – but doesn’t laugh all that easy, maybe easier than most. Rather than seeing humor in things, he sees the sadness, but tries to make it funny via dry humor or sarcasm.

Favorite Foods, Drinks: He’s a secret meat eater, even though he knows this is not politically correct now! He likes steak. Filet mignon. Etc. Drinks: He’s addicted to diet Coke, even though he knows it’s bad for him. Secretly, he’d like to try all those drinks that became popular since he’s been sober, like cosmopolitans, martinis, mojitos etc. Also, he’d like to try drugs that became popular, like Ecstasy. (he does in “Benediction.”)

Favorite place to Hang Out: He likes going to Buena Vista Park, to contemplate – but also, it’s disingenuous, he likes to cruise there but would NEVER admit it. He likes Griffith Park in LA for the same reason. He likes certain places (bars) in New York, in Vegas, in SF and in LA. In LA it’s MJs (this is a real place, now closed). In SF it’s Powerhouse.

Ideal Vacation: Away from publicity and phones and all that. Has done Hawaii, looking for another private Island. Somewhere other South Pacific. Also American road trips.

Listens to what kind of music: Stuff from when he was growing up, so there is a lot of classic rock (Beach Boys, Jethro Tull, the Who, the Beatles, Neil Young) there. Also, 80s pop music. Sometimes Show tunes, but he hides this. Techno dance music, a secret indulgence.

Past Trauma or formative event: He’s been gaybashed. They robbed him and beat him up, breaking an arm. He has a scar on his chin from this incident. (Many more, but this is the one I felt relevant to his character.)

Looks up to what heroes or role models: (my own) John Sayles, Arthur Dong (documentarian), Alan Ball, Tolkien characters, Kennedys, etc. Also, he had a lover who died from AIDS, Wayne.

Keepsake from the past, and what it represents: Music box, which a former lover, who died, passed on to him. It’s for treasures. He puts the most important stuff in this box: “Wayne’s Box.”

Next time, I’ll do a bio for Ben’s partner Jake Brosseau. And, with any luck, I’ll have a release date for “Benefits.”

Goodreads Review of “The Motel Life”

Here’s a quick book review – I thought this was a great read. I’m working on something new, something I have to call fiction though it’s based on an old road trip I took myself in the 90s. Working title is “Wanderslut 1996: Based on a Mostly True Story.”

I was looking for road trip novels I hadn’t yet read and was looking for inspiration, and this is one that I found. Awesome. And, never fear, the novel “Benefits,” the sequel to “Benediction,” is on track to be published by summer 2019.

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My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was shocked I’ve only just recently found out about this book – in a google search to find road trip novels, it came up, sounded like my cup of tea, so I read it. The author has a remarkable, distinctive voice. Reminded me so much of something Denis Johnson might have done with a heaping slice of the Coen Brothers. Just a really sweet and sad tale of two lost souls and their equally lost compatriots. My favorite thing is the flights of fancy the main character Frank has, making up stories for his own entertainment and that of his brother Jerry Lee. For me, that’s when this novel becomes magical. There’s a very specific sense of place with Reno and Elko, sense memory of what winter is like, golly, there’s even a saved rescue dog. I highly recommend this and look forward to reading more of Vlautin. Also, as someone who has some experience in 12-Step, this reads a lot like the part of the traditional share that’s “What it Was Like” – if it were a novel. Then, of course, there’s the “What Happened” and “What it’s Like Now” – we do get a sense of some thing that happened, but the “what it’s like now” is left to the reader to imagine. I’m OK with that. But I still cried a bit at the end.

View all my reviews

Real Stories of Older-Younger, Man to Man Sex 2: Nick

So Nick isn’t his real name, and that’s not really his photo, either. Needed something to make you look, did I not? Anyway, here’s another older-younger meet, and how I remember it.

Nick lives in a city in the same state as I do, a city I used to live in myself and that I often visit, though less so in the last couple of years. Hopefully, that will be rectified, and I can see Nick and others like him more often.

I’m not sure exactly which app I met Nick through, but I am sure it was internet-mediated. Absolutely did not meet on the street or in any other meet-cute sort of way. I’m somewhat sure it was daddyhunt (daddyhunt.com) and as I think I’ve stated elsewhere, even if I didn’t meet that many guys in sheer number from silverdaddies or daddyhunt, the quality of those I did meet with what I was looking for (and what they were looking for) was way more on target every single time than the all-ages focus of apps like Grindr and Scruff.

I was staying with a relative the first time I met Nick and although it was initially kind of embarrassing to let this straight woman know I had a (hopefully) sexual liaison planned. I got over it, though, and she was eminently cool about it though I detected some hesitation on her part about the difference in our ages. She got over that and I got over feeling slutty.

Anyway. I met Nick at a pre-arranged coffeeshop, late afternoon. It was raining, as is kind of normal for this city. We had the requisite coffee and donut or cookie. Nick was around 30, about my height (5-7, could have been taller but not by much), light brown or dark blond hair. Build substantial, not fat, more like corn fed very healthy type of composition. He was charming and enthusiastic, maybe just a touch unsure of himself, which to me made him even more desirable, at least in the moment.

We both knew that this was most likely not an ongoing romance, but we did want to have sex, and neither of us had a place where we could host (he lived with roommates; I was staying in my relative’s living room with her cat), but Nick was resourceful. He knew of a place fairly close by that rented jacuzzi rooms by the hour.
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A short bus ride (yes, we took a city bus together to our tryst) away, this love location was an all-orientation business. In the individual rooms, there was not only your very own jacuzzi, but a full size bed (actually, I think it was an air mattress but a very substantial one with a high base), and a shower. In the cool and rainy weather the room was also heated appropriately so it was perfectly comfortable to get naked — which we did.

Can I tell you how much I do love having sex in a water environment? Because I do; because of residual effects from prostate cancer, the inevitable tiny leaks I experience when having sexual activity upright were just frankly not noticeable. Which I appreciate.

So most of the action between Nick and I occurred in the jacuzzi, and it was consummated, you might say, on the bed. We didn’t take longer than our hour, but we did make the most of it. There even was time for some cuddling and spooning and pillow talk. Nick had (has!) a large penis and did not seem to realize this much (or, at least, at this stage in our interactions, he did not say anything to emphasize this) which was a bit of a surprise. Obviously, it was an extra added attraction to the jacuzzi room.

We kept in touch via the Internet and still do. It’s great to see some of the younger guys I’ve known this way finish schooling and start careers (the case with Nick). We’ve gotten together since that initial time and probably will again, if I can make a visit and we can time it right. By now he’s had more experience with men and knows his size is something, let’s say, above average, and has told me thus and how he wants to use it to more effect with me. I say go for it. I’d like that.

“Making of Milwaukee” Quick Review

If you’re on Goodreads, follow me there!
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Don’t usually actually read coffee-table sized books, but I did with this one!

Dad Pix (James Waldron Arnold)

Here’s a miscellaneous grouping of pictures of my dad (who died December 21, Arousal in men is one of the cheap cialis pills important factors to conquering bulimia is taking action on it as soon as practical. Also, they might suggest exercises or restrict certain activities, until overnight cheap viagra your hand is more functional. The dose which is recommended by a physician prescription de levitra is dangerous. You cannot just have any amount of super levitra. 2018) – many including other family members or other people.

Dad in front of his childhood home in Bay Ridge area of Brooklyn

With my siblings Peter, Julia, David, moi, Bill and Dad at a reading of “Benediction” at FAB bookstore in NOLA

Dad and Julia

Dad with Mr. and Mrs. Maleckar

Pati, Dad, Bill, Pete

Dad, Bill, Pete

Dad at Rockefeller Center one holiday season (2008 I think)

Dad at Rockefeller Center

Dad at Cafe on Center Street, Milwaukee

Closeup, Dad at Center Street Cafe

Dad with Laura and Emily Arnold, NOLA

Pati and Dad, NOLA

Some birthday party in forgotten location!

Dad and Mom with grad Bill

Dad, circa 1970

Mom and Dad at Rock Garden in Palm Springs

Mom and Dad at my duplex, 2742 Auburn Street in LA. Late 80s or early 90s

Mom and Dad and I in front of the Queen Mary, Long Beach, 2002.

Mom, Alma Maleckar. moi and Dad in Palm Springs, 2005-6?

Dad and Mom in front of that same Bay Ridge house, in 1953.

Aunt Joan, Dad and Grandma Helen Arnold in Bay Ridge, 1953

Dad and Mom and me in Italian restaurant in Milwaukee

Dave Maleckar, moi and Dad at Dick and Laura Arnold’s wedding, 1991.

Dad and Mom in Charlottesville, VA, 1996.

Dad speaking at Joan’s funeral, 2013.

Dad with Joan’s friend Charles McCown

Dad, me and Charles McCown, 2013

Dad at Joan’s gravesite, 2013

Dad with Kate, birthday celebration

Dad and Kate

Dad, Julia, Bill and Dick

Dad and me

Dick and Dad

Dad, Dick, Joe Wantoch, Joe Arnold, Laura Arnold

Dad in front of 2239 N. Terrace house, 2017.

James W. Arnold Obituary

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Every Day Was Hat Day

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Raising Speed Limits a Disaster for Anyone Not in a Car

https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-speed-limits-20181129-story.html

Lit up like a Xmas tree with the blogger

Really dismayed to see this story in today’s Los Angeles Times. Chandler Boulevard, around the block from where I live, is a major bike route — the initial or final leg (depending on which way you’re going) to the Orange Line Bike Path, which is not separated from city streets between Coldwater Canyon and the North Hollywood Metro Station.
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Drivers already use this stretch of Chandler as a freeway or even a dragstrip. The speed limit near my house is 40 mph. I’ve often thought there’s little chance I’d survive getting hit by a car going 40-45 mph as I cycle in the bike lane. This street also borders NoHo High School which hundreds of kids cross every school day. How is this good for them?

Raising speed limits so the police can issue more speeding tickets seems like a really dumb idea. At what price – to everyone? What they need to do is build totally separated bike lanes on this road. Either that or I’m riding on the sidewalk now (which is, btw, legal to do in the city of Los Angeles).

Real Stories of Older-Younger, Man to Man Sex 1: Josh

Hopefully that title got your attention!

The various posts on this blog pertaining to the idea of older-younger gay couplings are the most popular. I haven’t written one in a while, so I thought I’d talk about one of my own experiences — with more to come in subsequent posts.

First, let’s call him Josh. This is how we met.

I’ve had profiles on two websites – silverdaddies.com and daddyhunt.com, off and on, for quite awhile (though not currently as of this writing, 11/27/18) and generally think they’re not that effective – the main reason being their niche audience and international reach. In other words, yes, there are lots of gay men who would like someone older or younger to be with when you take it on a macro level, say countrywide or worldwide, but maybe not so many in any particular locality (big cities are always, always better though).

That said, the quality of the men I’ve met on both those sites has been spectacular, if compatible partners have been few and far between. When it worked, it was fireworks. The reason for this? From my point of view as the older man, it’s because the younger men on these two sites are sincere about their desires to be with someone older – it’s the main reason for being there. It’s not just some added aspect of a potential date, like it might be (the age factor) on hook-up sites like Scruff or even Grindr (which skews younger anyway). So – with Josh, I think it was silverdaddies.com.

So, again, on how we met: I was searching the site for younger guys in my area who wanted to meet older guys. Josh had created a profile saying he was very attracted to men 20 – 30 years older than he was and wanted to meet someone for an experience, to see what that was like. I believe he was 24 or 25 at the time. I was in my mid-50s (this happened several years ago).

He included a photo and of course, he was adorable, as the majority of 24-25 year olds likely are. Handsome, dark hair, olive skin, solid. I wrote back, saying I enjoyed being with younger guys and could provide that “experience” should he so desire it from me.

After the usual back-and-forth messages via email, we agreed to meet for coffee. I don’t like inviting strangers over nor do I like showing up at a stranger’s house sight unseen (in Josh’s case, I believe he was living with his mother at the time) because it’s not safe or pleasant to do that. I realize, especially with the growth of the apps, that guys do this all the time now but I still haven’t been able to get my head around it. Wrong generation I guess. Thus: Starbucks, or coffee chain of your choice, perfect for this kind of encounter.

Bonus points to my heart: Josh showed up on time. We got our coffees and I suggested a walk around the San Fernando Valley neighborhood we were in, as this particular coffee joint didn’t lend itself to private conversation.

He told me his story, or part of it: He was bisexual, pretty much inexperienced with guys, had what he called a “compulsion” for older men (his words: “older middle-aged men”) every once in a while that was this desire he could not explain. I told him that from where I sit it’s pretty common, or at least I’d heard this quite often from other guys his age. We didn’t have a long meeting – I just told him I thought he was quite attractive and I’d be able to provide this “older man experience” he was looking for and he should think about it. And we could make a date, if he wanted.
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Probably the next day I got a message from him saying that indeed he did want to make that date. It would be at my house, and he agreed to the day and time – a weeknight, early evening.

I was nervous, of course. Josh showed up on time, came in and sat next to me on the couch. I asked him if I could touch him (consent!) and he said yes. Before I knew it we were kissing, and he took my hand and put it over his hardened cock (still in his pants) telling me that “it got hard as soon as I got out of the car.”

Yay. We ended up in my bed, naked. He had some tattoos, which I wanted to look at and know the stories behind, but he told me: “I don’t like to talk about my tattoos.” Alrighty then.

I gave Josh the best blowjob I could for that day and time (in other words, stellar). I don’t remember if he returned the favor, almost certainly not to completion as this is way more complicated with someone who has had prostate surgery and has no cum (ahem, yours truly).

Whatever, delightful, and after the sex part, pillow talk. What one older guy and younger guy have to talk about — jobs, living situations, aspirations, that sort of thing. I felt that he tried to project a self-assurance that was not completely formed, if that makes any sense. I wanted to say “just be yourself, it is enough” but didn’t, as I thought it might be too intimate for that kind of moment – and I wanted him to come back again.

He did. Josh and I met several times that year, he wanting my ass more than anything which I finally did feel like giving up to him one night. He looked down at me while he was fucking me and said, apropos of nothing, “you’re going to sleep very well tonight.” He was right. I did.

I suspect that eventually, he got tired of my insistence that we make dates, that I wasn’t too fond of spontaneity, especially at my age and extra-especially for bottoming. There being the huge difference in our ages: I just didn’t have the same libido Josh did. Eventually, he met another older guy at a sex club (who he told me about) and said he really was only interested in this other guy. By the way, he also was able to drop the bisexual label by then and thought of himself as gay.

We’ve lost touch. He was beautiful and he was sweet, and I loved how he made me feel. I’m glad I was able to deliver on that “older man experience” for him. I would have preferred it lasted a bit longer, but it was what it was.

“Benefits” Coming in the Spring! (2019)

Finally, I’m confident enough to tell you that my next book, “Benefits,” the sequel to “Benediction,” will drop into the physical world next spring, certainly in time for you to throw it in your beach bag before you head to the sand.

It’s been a long process. Therapy, you might say as well, helping me get through the hellish months from November 2016 to the present. I know you know why! But the one thing I’ve internalized about writing is that it has to be consistent. So it was with “Benefits.”

What’s it about, you ask?

Ben Schmidt and his world. He survived the prostate cancer, and is now living with the aftermath. His relationship with the studly Jake Brosseau has continued, though now it seems it’s Jake who is the main breadwinner in the family. Tables have turned! And, if you read “Benediction,” you might recall that Ben had banked some sperm, just in case he might want to “use it” at a later date. I think that later date arrived.

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Benediction

San Francisco, Noe Street, a locale in “Benefits”