Category Archives: Family

Adam and Gus Let Me Be a Little Bit Gayer

Better late than never. Finally giving credit where credit is due. To gay Olympians Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy for allowing me be a little bit gayer with my dad.

The media reminded me this morning that the Olympics are coming back, next week, to Beijing, China.

(The utter absurdity/hypocrisy of hosting something which is supposed to bring the world together in an authoritarian state with currently operating concentration camps is the subject of another post, however, I want to acknowledge this insane fact.)

Gay Olympians Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy at 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea.
Out and Proud Olympians Adam Rippon (l) and Gus Kenworthy

But I digress. I originally wrote a note to myself to do this post in 2018. Life interfered.

2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea

The 2018 Winter Olympics were held in PyeongChang, South Korea, in February. I was back in Milwaukee (Shorewood, to be exact) to help my dad as he’d aged to the point of needing quite a bit of assistance with the everyday things of life.

In addition to that, one of my sisters had become disabled the year before from a series of strokes and was now living in a convalescent home (where she still lives as of this writing in 2022).

My father and my sister were particularly close, so adjusting to these new realities was incredibly sad and a real challenge for the entire family.

Wisconsin is quite cold (OK, it’s fucking freezing — and dark) in the winter so, holed up as we were mostly indoors, the Olympics provided some delightful relief.

Blogger Jim Arnold gets a little bit gayer watching Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy at the 2018 Olympics.
The Blogger in Milwaukee in 2018. It was 9 F. outside. Not happy.

And it turned out to be truly delightful, most of all because of Adam and Gus, not just one cute gay Olympic star, but two, count ’em, two.

Adam Rippon

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It was also political, since Adam Rippon refused to meet with homophobe VP (at the time) Mike Pence. It’s a stance I admired then, and even more so as time goes by. You stick to your guns. Adam said something like “fun fact: there are huge benefits to being who you really are 100% of the time” which I just adored.

Because I never would have been able to say that in my 20s. I really can’t even imagine what that would have been like to say that to the world. What a wonderful role model for anyone younger – as well as those of us us decades older.

Gus Kenworthy

And Gus — Gus simply presented to me how a happy gay guy who was also an elite athlete would act during his competition. Smiling his million dollar smile, kissing his cute boyfriend before and after his runs, giving charming interviews to the press just like any normal hero who has the world by the tail.

Because he was/is a normal hero who doesn’t give a flying F what anyone thinks of his being totally, unapologetically out.

So how does all this relate to my dad? I would look up the times when Adam and/or Gus would be on the tube and make sure we were watching them. He didn’t mind, in fact I think he enjoyed it, particularly liking Rippon’s stance against Pence (my father loathed the Trump administration).

As odd as it might have been watching male figure skating with my straight father, it was also liberating, as this is the person who introduced me and my siblings to Broadway, to Judy Garland, to Barbra Streisand, to the magical dancing of Gene Kelly, to so much more.

As much as I stifled the urge to squeal whenever Gus would smooch his boyfriend (and the cameras were always there to catch it) my dad watched it with me and didn’t say a word. One time when I was out of the family room to do something in the kitchen, he yelled at me, “Jim, you better get in here, Adam’s about to go on, you don’t wanna miss this!”

It’s These Moments that Make Up Our Lives

It’s the little things. My dad knew I was gay, of course, but it’s not something we discussed a lot. I’d often felt a failure since I’ve never dragged any man those 2,000 miles from California to meet my parents, when all seven of my siblings had married opposite sex partners. I’d never communicated that to either of my parents, but it’s something I thought I should probably do.

I don’t know if that will ever happen, it’s not something on my radar, but whatever, Dad will not be around regardless. He died a few days before Christmas, 2018, at 89.

Blogger Jim Arnold with his father James W. Arnold in 2018.
Last pic taken with my dad (James W. Arnold), September 2018, in a diner in Cedarburg, WI.

So, thanks Adam and Gus, who probably have no idea the effect they have had collectively on millions of LGBTQ. Or maybe they do. You let me be a little bit gayer with my dad.

Fun fact: There are great rewards to being who you are, all the time.

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Wisconsin Trip, End of 2021

Photo post

Went back to visit my siblings and their families in the Milwaukee area at the end of 2021. One of the days I went down to Chicago, to the Art Institute, which I like to do whenever I can. I get such inspiration there; it’s an amazing collection of art. I’ve included a few pictures from that afternoon.

It was typical December weather while I was there, reminding me of what a real winter feels like. Happy to say I’m back in Los Angeles, although I can’t say it’s balmy, it’s certainly well above freezing!

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I was in San Francisco Last Weekend

which is why I didn’t post anything on Saturday. I was driving for a lot of the day. But, I have photos from the weekend.

I used to live in San Francisco, so it’s long past the time for me to do anything sightseeing or tourist-related. I hate crowds in particular – so I’m not going to go anywhere there’s any possibility of encountering one.

The reason for my trip was a Celebration of Life – a cousin’s husband died almost two years ago, but a service was delayed because of Covid-19. Finally, she was able to have it and it was wonderful.

I didn’t take photos there out of privacy – and really, do we need to document absolutely everything we do for social media? I don’t think so. More so as time goes on.

That being said, I hope you enjoy these photos. They include yours truly at the foggy and chilly beach at San Gregorio; a few from Golden Gate Park, including the Ferris wheel, the Shakespeare Garden (with the sundial), and a pleasant morning shot. There’s the Nancy Pelosi Drive sign (in GG park), which is timely.

We’re counting on you, Nancy!

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New Orleans Trip Photos!

In April/May, I spent a couple of weeks in NOLA visiting family. First trip since the pandemic upended everything! Wanted to share some photos I took both there and on the train (Amtrak’s Sunset Limited) there and back.

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It’s National “Take a Walk in the Park Day”

Monday, March 30 is National “Take a Walk in the Park Day.” This year, it has an added significance. For most of us in the U.S. and indeed, around the world, walking in the park is one of the few activities open to us in the time of coronavirus quarantines.

In my novel “Benefits,” Ben Schmidt and his crew make good use of Golden Gate, Buena Vista and Jack Early Parks — for walks, yes, as well as other things. Like cruising. Like surveillance. Or just for taking in the view.

In my already solitary writerly life, taking walks is one of my constants. Often, they are in a park here in Los Angeles. Could be Griffith, which is giant, or North Hollywood Park, closer to where I live. Also l love to walk/hike in Fryman Canyon, which is part of a string of mountain parks here.

I’ve included a little gallery of park walks from here as well as recent travels. Hope you enjoy — and make sure to get out and Take a Walk in the Park! Wash your hands and stay six feet from other humanoids!

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Amtrak Sunset Limited and New Orleans Walking B-Roll

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Recently I went on a train trip to New Orleans (Amtrak Sunset Limited) to visit my sister and brother-in-law and family. Went out there by train, flew back. This video is a compilation of some views from the train, especially in Texas, as well as some of the sights and sounds of New Orleans. Those are a bit different from the usual tourist things you see, as it’s not the French Quarter, it’s Uptown New Orleans where my relatives live.

I like taking morning walks, so I made a bunch of walking videos of the sites along my routes. Hope you enjoy the clips!

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Amtrak Southwest Chief Trip LAX – CHI and back again

Took Amtrak’s Southwest Chief (and the Hiawatha) to visit family in Milwaukee. Some pictures of the journey and my relatives for your viewing pleasure!

Mixed feelings about the trip – was great to celebrate the 4th and see my siblings and their families, also to partake in the summer celebrations in Milwaukee, the main reason I made this particular trip was to join them in burying our parents’ ashes at a cemetery just north of Milwaukee in Belgium, Wisconsin. So, something that needed to be done and a sense of finality with that. I think they would have liked the place we chose (my dad chose the cemetery after my mom died, but not the particular plot, that was left to us) and I think it’s a beautiful and peaceful spot.

Oh Amtrak! Unfortunately the trip home was delayed 16.5 hours because of a locomotive breakdown and then subsequent delays along the entire route. I did complain; I got a voucher to use on a future train trip (like that will be something I’ll do soon – not) but really coincidentally there’s this great story by Justin Fox in Bloomberg which I’ll link to which provides the context much better than I can. I really do enjoy the pace of train travel (it’s not only the Amish!) so I hope they can get their act together before it all goes down the tubes. I’d be very wary of taking one of these long hauls again (anything with a two night overnight, as all trains from the west coast to Chicago or New Orleans seem to be). Anyway, it’s good to be home!

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James W. Arnold Obituary

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Living in the “Mad Men” Kitchen

Sometimes you realize that you’re living inside the TV more than you ever thought possible. At least this was my realization last winter when I spent February in Milwaukee helping out my dad. He still lives in the 1949 Midcentury house he bought with my mother in 1988, so for 30 years now. As you can see, they never really updated their 1950s kitchen. As a fan of “Mad Men,” I came to realize that my father is basically living in Betty Draper’s kitchen in their fictitious house in the NY burbs of Ossining, New York.

Just a few fun photos for you to make that connection. That is all.
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September in Milwaukee – the photos

Spent most of the month of September in Milwaukee visiting family. Of course, I took pictures! After so long in California I’m always amazed at the lush flora there, every year repeating the cycle of birth and growth and decline and death. September is the end of summer so everything is at its lush-est, blown out, just waiting for the decline to start. There is just so much vegetation – in a place where it rains.

Went to Chicago to look at the Art Institute’s John Singer Sargent and Chicago’s Gilded Age exhibit. Loved it! So there are some random photos from that day, and a few others of family or other scenery. Why not share them? They’re not doing much good just sitting on my phone.
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