Better late than never. Finally giving credit where credit is due. To gay Olympians Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy for allowing me be a little bit gayer with my dad.

The media reminded me this morning that the Olympics are coming back, next week, to Beijing, China.

(The utter absurdity/hypocrisy of hosting something which is supposed to bring the world together in an authoritarian state with currently operating concentration camps is the subject of another post, however, I want to acknowledge this insane fact.)

But I digress. I originally wrote a note to myself to do this post in 2018. Life interfered.

2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea

The 2018 Winter Olympics were held in PyeongChang, South Korea, in February. I was back in Milwaukee (Shorewood, to be exact) to help my dad as he’d aged to the point of needing quite a bit of assistance with the everyday things of life.

In addition to that, one of my sisters had become disabled the year before from a series of strokes and was now living in a convalescent home (where she still lives as of this writing in 2022).

My father and my sister were particularly close, so adjusting to these new realities was incredibly sad and a real challenge for the entire family.

Wisconsin is quite cold (OK, it’s fucking freezing — and dark) in the winter so, holed up as we were mostly indoors, the Olympics provided some delightful relief.

And it turned out to be truly delightful, most of all because of Adam and Gus, not just one cute gay Olympic star, but two, count ’em, two.

Adam Rippon

It was also political, since Adam Rippon refused to meet with homophobe VP (at the time) Mike Pence. It’s a stance I admired then, and even more so as time goes by. You stick to your guns. Adam said something like “fun fact: there are huge benefits to being who you really are 100% of the time” which I just adored.

Because I never would have been able to say that in my 20s. I really can’t even imagine what that would have been like to say that to the world. What a wonderful role model for anyone younger – as well as those of us us decades older.

Gus Kenworthy

And Gus — Gus simply presented to me how a happy gay guy who was also an elite athlete would act during his competition. Smiling his million dollar smile, kissing his cute boyfriend before and after his runs, giving charming interviews to the press just like any normal hero who has the world by the tail.

Because he was/is a normal hero who doesn’t give a flying F what anyone thinks of his being totally, unapologetically out.

So how does all this relate to my dad? I would look up the times when Adam and/or Gus would be on the tube and make sure we were watching them. He didn’t mind, in fact I think he enjoyed it, particularly liking Rippon’s stance against Pence (my father loathed the Trump administration).

As odd as it might have been watching male figure skating with my straight father, it was also liberating, as this is the person who introduced me and my siblings to Broadway, to Judy Garland, to Barbra Streisand, to the magical dancing of Gene Kelly, to so much more.

As much as I stifled the urge to squeal whenever Gus would smooch his boyfriend (and the cameras were always there to catch it) my dad watched it with me and didn’t say a word. One time when I was out of the family room to do something in the kitchen, he yelled at me, “Jim, you better get in here, Adam’s about to go on, you don’t wanna miss this!”

It’s These Moments that Make Up Our Lives

It’s the little things. My dad knew I was gay, of course, but it’s not something we discussed a lot. I’d often felt a failure since I’ve never dragged any man those 2,000 miles from California to meet my parents, when all seven of my siblings had married opposite sex partners. I’d never communicated that to either of my parents, but it’s something I thought I should probably do.

I don’t know if that will ever happen, it’s not something on my radar, but whatever, Dad will not be around regardless. He died a few days before Christmas, 2018, at 89.

So, thanks Adam and Gus, who probably have no idea the effect they have had collectively on millions of LGBTQ. Or maybe they do. You let me be a little bit gayer with my dad.

Fun fact: There are great rewards to being who you are, all the time.