Tag Archives: Jim Arnold books

Some Thoughts on Social Media

For those who don’t remember, the social media 10-year Challenge was simply posting photos of yourself currently and from 10 years ago. It was a popular Facebook and Instagram thing in 2018, and there’s a reason for that: that’s about the time that Facebook got critically popular (even if launched earlier). Instagram itself launched in 2010 before being bought by Facebook a couple of years later. I guess ten years is a good interval to put out some thoughts on social media.

What I learned was that ten years of it was probably enough! Ten years of photos, rants, videos, sharing memes, sharing political opinions. I mean, did any of us think this was something we’d have to pursue forever?

11/28/11, Jim Arnold with Movember mustache

Jim Arnold in 2021 at the Pacific Ocean in NorCal

I had to ask myself: What has it gotten me? How has my life become better because of this? Because of all the precious time I’ve spent on social media?

Social Media Good for Author Presence?

To be honest, I mainly see a presence on social media as an avenue for publicity, ultimately resulting in curiosity about me sufficient to result in book sales. I don’t have much concrete evidence of that, although the concept is sound.

Perhaps that sounds selfish – but then again, I am under no illusions that I’m not the product on a service like Facebook or Twitter, where my data is being sold to advertisers. So for me to have loftier ambitions is really kind of silly when then entire enterprise is exploitive, right?

Yet I’ve never gotten over what I see as the lack of Integrity on social media and the ease of being an asshole, and of calling people names. I’m guilty of this myself. It’s so easy, when you’re behind a screen, to be a boor. (Especially on Twitter, I find.)

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Should I Ditch Twitter?

How hard would it be to give up Twitter? I call people names there, usually Republicans, led by Donald Trump or his surrogates. Maybe they deserve to be called names, but I tell you, even at age 66, soon to be 67, I still hear my mother’s voice telling me “don’t call people names.” That was good advice then and it’s good advice now. We were raised to be kind and decent.

Otherwise, I don’t scroll Twitter looking for information or to follow anyone in particular. There’s just too much there and I’ve always found that just daunting and basically uninteresting. I’d rather read a professionally edited newspaper I trust. That’s enough.

What About “Meta?”

Instagram would be harder because while I get almost zero comments or likes or anything on Twitter, I get more dopamine hits from Instagram. Although, still, it’s not a lot compared to true social media butterflies. I find my presence there low stress, and there’s not much animosity. So for now, I’m keeping it.

I recently rejoined Facebook for the author publicity reasons – I read a book on promotions that insisted a Facebook Page was a very good thing for authors, so I have one now. It’s only been a few months, but I find that Facebook itself is kind of boring these days and prefer looking at the photos on Instagram.

Still I really wonder about the opportunity cost of social media and is it really a worthwhile trade-off: there’s so many other things I could be doing, including fitness activities, piano playing, more writing, even. Work, certainly. Pursuing sex and lovers. Interacting with pets and animals. Cooking delicious food. Seeking more love in the world?

Those are some of my thoughts on social media, but the conversation’s not over. Stay tuned.

Five Things I Did in 1996 That I Don’t Do in 2021

Life has changed in the past 25 years. There’s probably dozens of things I did in 1996 – the year I took the Wanderslut 1996 road trip – that I don’t do in 2021.

Off the top, here are five of these things:

When Cameras Were . . . Cameras

I have a bunch of photos from that road trip. Without exception, I took them with a real camera. I’m painfully aware of this because every time I want to illustrate something from that trip, I have to scan an old print because they’re not digital.

I still have a great camera that takes awesome photos, but the truth is I don’t use it that much. Like most people, I suppose, I use the path of least resistance, which, of course, is my smart phone. It’s also a great camera.

I No Longer Go To To The Gym Every Day

For as long as I can remember, there’s been the gay “gym requirement.” The expectation that any interest by an attractive male in one’s direction was directly proportionate to the time one spent in the gym.

This is ridiculous, not to mention exhausting. Yet I dutifully followed this “requirement” for decades. Eventually, age catches up with everything. Also, I discovered I enjoyed other forms of exercise more than lifting weights (including hiking, biking, yoga) – especially things I could do out in the fresh air and sun.

I had bigger muscles back in the ’90s. I miss them, but I don’t want to go to the gym as much, I really don’t.

Since the pandemic began and the subsequent addition of workout equipment for my home, I often wonder what the point is in going to the actual gym, even a few times a week, still having to deal with crowds, waits, traffic and parking. I could so easily set up a mini-gym in a corner of my apartment for comparatively little investment.

Stay tuned on that! But in 1996, really, I went. I showed up. Every. Single. Day.

No Longer Read Actual Printed Magazines

I used to have a bunch of subscriptions – Premiere, GQ, Out, Time, Daily Variety, Hollywood Reporter, Spy – and more – that dovetailed with my work in public relations/publicity. I loved reading the mags and thumbing through them.

Honestly I never thought I’d be one to prefer the screen to actual paper, like so many futurists predicted. I swore I’d resist. I did, for awhile. But inevitably, the convenience and immediacy of digital was a lure I couldn’t resist.

For those that survived, I still read them online, of course. I do miss turning the pages and discovering something, though.

I Don’t Go To The Video Store

If you can even find one! It’s another loss, for sure, because there was always the chance of a great discovery which is not as likely to happen with algorithm-mediated browsing on sites like Netflix.

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What the algorithms fail at is the human possibility of discovering a totally new interest – something you see from the corner of your eye that you think you might like – randomly, not based on any previous behavior. So we’ve lost that.

Actually, I’m not even sure you could find “Boys in the Sand” in a VHS store. I finally got it on DVD!

I miss the Friday night ritual of going (with my boyfriend at the time) to the various video stores to stock up on regular movies as well as gay porn for the weekend. Now I scroll Netflix, HBO, Amazon, GayHotMovies, what have you, alone in my living room.

It’s certainly more convenient, but I’m not sure I’d call it better.

I Don’t Drink Copious Amounts of Diet Root Beer

When I got sober and stopped drinking any kind of alcohol in 1990, my “drink of choice” became diet root beer, which I had always liked because of the flavor and the fact that generally it never contained caffeine.

It had to be diet because of the sugar and calories. I was going to be sober but I was not going to be fat.

I drank root beer by itself on ice. I drank it with meals. I especially drank it during hot weather to quench my thirst after exercise.

Eventually I came to realize that, in fact, diet root beer is mostly artificially flavored and is actually a chemical stew steeped in carbonation. I was convinced it also made urination more frequent and urgent, which I did not need as I got older.

So now I mostly drink water. Sometimes flavored seltzer-type waters, but usually flat water from the tap. Refrigerated. It hasn’t killed me yet.

I Don’t IRC Chat

Ok, I guess that’s 6 things. But back in ’96 I adored online chatting and the IRC (Internet Relay Chat) protocol conjured up way more interesting guys than America Online could ever hope to.

The thing I liked about it was that it was truly international – I could set up dates with guys from Europe and Brazil which actually then happened in real time and real life. Maybe it was my first sense of how the Internet would really open up the world for me and actually expand my interactions with humans rather than limit them.

Truthfully IRC is no match for apps like Facebook and Twitter. I believe it’s still available, however, and works on PCs (I use a Mac laptop). I used it daily in 1996.

What’s on your list of 5 things you used to do in 1996 but no longer do in 2021?

Five of My Favorite Things to do in San Francisco – for Free

In my mostly-memoir Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America my last stop before I returned to Los Angeles was San Francisco.

Seems appropriate as I write this on Gay Pride Weekend to celebrate Baghdad by the Bay, certainly one of the gayest cities in the world and one of my favorites, as well (and – I’m a former resident, too – 1998-2003).

Five Things to Do for Free in San Francisco

You probably know that it’s one of the most expensive U.S. cities in which to live. Never fear — if visiting, there are loads of things to do in San Francisco for free – and here’s five of them:

Sculpture in Golden Gate Park
Walk through the Park
The Bay Bridge from the Embarcadero
Embarcadero view
Cruisin’ the Castro
View in the Castro
Grace Cathedral
Labyrinth in Grace Cathedral
My cousin and the Blogger at 1996 SF Gay Pride Parade

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Golden Gate Park — This enormous rectangular park has multiple free attractions inside, including various gardens, playing fields, a buffalo paddock, windmills (at beach end), an AIDS Memorial Grove, several lakes with plenty of ducks, and tons of people-watching. Good place to spend a morning or an afternoon – or an entire day.
Strolling the Embarcadero — At the other end of the city from the park, along the bay, is the great Embarcadero and waterside walkway. Views of the skyline, ships of all types, the Bay Bridge, and plenty of salt water fresh air.
Labyrinth at Grace Cathedral — After the stimulation of the city and its outdoor attractions, you may need some quiet time, and what better place for that than to walk the labyrinth in Grace Cathedral at the top of Nob Hill? (The cathedral has two labyrinths, including one outside that’s available 24/7 if the church is locked up.)
Cruising’ the Castro — OK, well it may be a slightly toned-down and multi-rainbowed version of its more radical 60s-70s self, but still there is nothing quite like the Castro, San Francisco’s most iconic gay ‘hood. See the location of Harvey Milk’s camera store, thrill to the sight of one of the best arthouses anywhere (The Castro Theatre), and love the friendliness and charm of this small and very walkable area. You might even pick somebody up – or get picked up.
Land’s End — Rustic and wild hiking area along the Pacific Ocean, also with great views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the ruins of the old Sutro Baths. You could almost forget you’re in a city here with the mighty Pacific spread out before you. It always takes my breath away.

Jim Arnold Books

Here’s a current list of my books, which I publish through Eureka Street Press.

Sunshine State: A Mixed Review of Experiences in Florida

Many Trips There, and What They’ve Been For

Like the mythical “Florida Man” (or Woman) my many trips to the sunshine state over the years varied wildly, with mostly memorable experiences in Florida.

To the best of my recollection, the first time I was there was in bicentennial year 1976. I was 21, and it was a family trip. We went to Destin, a beach location on the panhandle, warm water and blindingly white sand beaches.

Because I was with my parents and younger siblings and also car-less, I did not partake in many “extracurriculars.” Still, I enjoyed myself and loved the location. We also toured a nearby plantation. I remember that as being one of the hottest experiences (meaning the temperature was just uncomfortably, overwhelmingly hot) of my life.

Later Trips

A couple of summers later, I bought a Greyhound Bus Pass to tour the United States and ended up in Key West. This became one of the most consequential trips of my life and probably my best experience in Florida. After this trip I decided that if there was any problem with my being gay it was your problem, not mine. A sea change in my thinking – but for the sex part, see below.

During my later career in public relations, I visited the state because conventions were there (usually in Orlando), which is a little different from a vacation but still had moments of fun. Most recently, I’ve had a visit with an old friend who relocated to Miami and went to visit – this time on an Amtrak Pass, once again touring the United States.

It’s a Big State with a Lot of Variety

Florida is way bigger than it looks on the map, or at least that’s the impression I got when driving through it.

It’s got the conservative north, where Tallahassee and Gainesville are, as well as the aforementioned Gulf Coast white sand beaches. Then there’s Orlando, with all things Disney and the iconic gay Parliament House (see below, now sadly closed/gone).

Then there’s Southeast Florida, where urban, exciting Miami is located, also gay Fort Lauderdale and a zillion other beach towns (including one where an unpleasant, disgraced ex-president lives in shame).

There’s the Florida Keys, an attraction all their own, the location of everything from Flipper to Bloodline, as well as the popular gay destination of Key West (arguably more popular in the past than now).

And let’s not forget the Gulf Coast south of the panhandle, where Tampa, Ft. Myers, Sanibel, etc. are located. (On my Wanderslut 1996 Road Trip, I visited the panhandle, Sanibel, Miami and Fort Lauderdale. Read about it here.)

Good Sex to be had in Florida

I figure that’s what you’re really interested in.

My sex experiences in Florida ranged from life-changing to meh. So yes, it is a state of contrasts.

Life-changing is what I’d describe a trip to Key West in 1979, where I had been on a bus touring America with stops here and there, until one day I decided “fuck this. I want sex, drugs and rock and roll and I definitely want to get off this bus!” I looked at a map and decided: Ok, Key West.

Key West

It was already a gay destination in 1979 and had been. I took the bus there. I stayed at the Island House, which is still there, still a gay resort as I write this, 42 years later .

In the week or so I spent there, I fucked many men, took a few drugs and danced to a fair amount of rock ‘n roll (and disco, baby). It was fun in the way any horny 24-year-old would have fun. But what made it life-changing was the acceptance and peace I got for the way I was, for the way I was born, in a way which had eluded me up to that point. After that trip, I never regretted being gay or wished I was straight ever again.

Parliament House

I’m also happy that years later as a professional on a business trip, I booked an extra day or two after a convention to stay at the Parliament House in Orlando, which was a legendary gay resort that featured restaurants and nightclubs and discos in addition to the rooms and pools. Sad to say, it’s closed now, and rather recently. But I was happy to partake in the tropical sleazy atmosphere of what was kind of a non-stop orgy. (Even though I was way past 24.)

Vintage photos from Parliament House

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Finally, in the “meh” category, I struck out on numerous occasions to hook up in the unforgiving city of Miami. The sexual stars have just never aligned for me there. You can read about some of that, too, in Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America.

Bisbee, The Gayest Small Town in Arizona

The first time I happened upon “Gay Bisbee” was really by accident. I was a tourist visiting Tombstone on a road trip. Bisbee is just down the highway a bit, really the last little city on the road that leads to the Mexican border.

I knew nothing about it but it had a weird and quirky name, so I had to see it. It’s small old mining town set in a valley, with houses dotting the hills above the main drag, which features a lot of turn-of-the-century era (the 20th century) brick buildings. The population is around 5,000.

Bisbee in the Past

Bisbee’s original claim to fame was mining. The Copper Queen mine (now closed, except for tours) was one of the biggest mining operations in Arizona for the period of the 1880s till WWII. The town of Bisbee grew up around it, hence the preponderance of architecture from that era, not only public buildings, but houses as well.

The population has been twice what it is now when the mines were active. So what happens when there’s an infrastructure for a larger town, but the people have left? Well, that brings us to:

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Bisbee Today

It always starts with those artists, now doesn’t it? Kidding, but no. Really. Artists almost always need inexpensive living and studio space, and what better location could there be than an old mining town that has lots of vacancy and low prices? That’s a bit of what happened in the 1970s to Bisbee, and the galleries followed that, the coffeeshops and B&Bs followed that, then it was attractive to Boomers retiring . . . and you can guess the rest.

“Gay Bisbee” got its rep as a gay-friendly place by passing Arizona’s first same-sex civil union ordinance, back in the days before marriage equality. The town was already quite diverse and progressive – and continues that way. A bit of bright blue in a bright red state (which is increasingly becoming “purpler” and will no doubt become reliably blue in the future).

Bisbee in the Future

Boomer and other retirees? I imagine that trend will continue. With the popularity of AirBnb, the area will only get more popular as a tourist and getaway destination, a fairly easy drive from both Phoenix and Tucson and even El Paso. For myself, I look forward to spending more time there in those quiet, peaceful desert hills.

Five Things I Love About Las Vegas

In a prior life (like, when I was still working for corporate America) I traveled to Las Vegas quite often for conventions and conferences, as it is probably the premier location in the United States for such things. There were many things I did not like about those trips, but here’s a few things that I did like:

Lots of Parking, Lots of it Free

I don’t know if it’s still true, but it certainly used to be that the majority of visitors to Vegas came from Southern California, and most of them by car. And why not? The city fathers and mothers, whether they were the mafia or relocated Mormon politicians, made Vegas an attractive, cheap, and close getaway.

Much to the delight of residents of California, who daily struggle with not only finding parking but also most often paying, in some way, for it. Vegas was wide open spaces, empty streets and parking structures with plenty of vacancies and nary a pay booth or parking meter in sight.

That changed a bit in recent years, with most Strip hotel/casinos still offering gratis parking for customers with the exception of (as of this writing in Dec. 2020) the Caesars Entertainment Group properties which charges fees if you’re not a guest or a Nevadan (Bally’s, Caesars Palace, Flamingo, Harrah’s, Linq, Paris Las Vegas).

The Monorail

Thing is, I like crowded cities that have mass transit systems – of some sort. Also hate inefficiencies when I see them. Like, for instance, long cab lines at the enormous Vegas venues.

Good for the cab and ride share industries, maybe, not so good for you. Plus, if you’re there on your own dime, these fares can really add up. Which is why the Monorail was such a great idea (note, as of this writing in Dec. 2020, it’s still closed due to Covid).

Located just to the east of the Strip casino hotels, the Monorail is a pleasant, quick and relatively cheap way to get around the main hotel-casino-convention area of Vegas. There were/are plans to extend the Monorail north to downtown and south to the airport. Like with so many projects like this, the funding for such a project isn’t clear.

Perhaps Mayor Pete Buttigieg can help when he’s Transportation Secretary?

Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area

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If you get sick of the bustle, which can be overwhelming, there’s an antidote close by. Just to the east of Vegas and only a short drive from the Strip area (around 20 minutes) is the Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area.

Hiking, picnics, views, bicycling — many options are available in this pristine and quiet desert getaway. Oh, and they have wild burros living there, too. You might get lucky and see one or two.

Casino Buffets

These used to be something like “$1.99 for all you can eat” back in the day. Those days are indeed long gone, but I still love the buffets, and they are still a great value.

What I love about them is: they have a wide variety of cuisines, and you can usually find something that you feel like eating. Of course, it’s as much as you want, so you can keep going back with your tray. Most buffets will have a chef making made-to-order items, just the way you like it.

I’ve never been rushed through a buffet and have never suffered a line that was more than, say, fifteen minutes long. They are staffed, but the waitpersons only do beverages and things like napkins, silverware. You can make it as healthy or as indulging as you’d like, and I really like that freedom. (Note: if you’re reading this during the pandemic, be advised that the buffets in Vegas are temporarily closed.)

There is Electricity in the Air!

Finally, there is always that feeling of expectation, that something wonderful can and will happen at any moment. Perhaps that something wonderful will come in the form of MONEY $$$$$$.

But it might be something else, like a triumph in your business (which might also result in $$$) or an unexpected hook up (like I got a few years back, as told in my book Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America).

Or, it just might be the contact high you get in a place where so many people are on vacation and literally having the time of their lives. Suspend judgment for a moment, and the feeling might be infectious (and I don’t mean Covid-19)!

Five Things I Learned While Traveling Solo

Whether you go by air, by car, by boat or by foot — traveling solo can be a learning experience. Here are five things I’ve learned on my various travels by myself:

I’m Not as Shy as I Thought

When I was a kid, I was quite hesitant to reach out to other kids and had a somewhat difficult time making friends, especially after a certain age (like, when adolescence kicked in). This is a real handicap to development. Remember, the Smiths’ hit song goes: “shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.”

That’s my take on it too. But when traveling solo, interacting with people you don’t know is an imperative, simply because there is no one else you know where you find yourself. I realized that, like so many things, it was a process of desensitization. The more you do it (talk to strangers) the easier it becomes. I’d even say that today I wouldn’t describe myself as shy, though I was described that way as a child.

The World is Way Friendlier Than You Think

Another thing I’ve learned traveling solo, especially in countries outside of my own (the U.S.) is that the people of the world are, in general, friendly. Americans are brought up with this crazy and inaccurate sense of exceptionalism, that anything and everything is always better in the U.S., which is, frankly, bullshit. I suppose this largely comes out of victory in WWII when we were the leaders of the “free” world for a while. That period is certainly over now.

Meeting citizens of other countries in their lands enriches a person and makes them more human, simply by absorbing the perspective of the other person, which is going to be different. This ranges from slightly different (say like Canada) to incredibly different (I’ll say India, where I haven’t been, but seems to be a good example). I think to become a citizen of the world is a worthy aspiration.

Overnight Trains/Red Eye Planes/Interstate Rest Stops are real Money Savers

Are you a frugal type? I usually try to be, though doing that effectively does require planning and research. Sometimes I’m too lazy to do that, but this hack never fails to save a few bucks.

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I first discovered that you could save money on youth hostel fees by taking overnight trains while traveling solo in Europe, when I went backpacking for a bit after high school. Most trains had seats that you could pull out to lie flat, and I remember using my parka (I was there in winter) rolled up as a pillow. Granted, it’s easier to accept a little discomfort at 18 that would be less tolerable at 65.

I still take red eye flights (especially to the east coast, where it makes sense with the time change) when I don’t need to be extremely alert upon arrival – so basically for any kind of travel other that business. And, when driving, I nap in my car at rest stops in lieu of paying for a motel room – or when I didn’t plan and no room was available. Not as comfy as a bed, for sure, but it does work — so I always include my pillow and a blanket when I pack for a road trip.

Despite the Stereotypes, Texas is Actually a Really Fun Place

To visit, anyway. Not sure I’d want to live there but — for a liberal gay guy from the west coast, makes sense to be wary about Texas, which at least has a reputation of being a bastion of gun-toting reactionaries who never left the 19th century. Media – especially movies and television — has done little to dispel this false stereotype. I say false because in reality, it’s not my lived experience.

I’ve been surprised on just about every trip I’ve made to Texas – no matter if it was a road trip, like in my recent mostly-true memoir Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America, or a more mundane business trip or film festival trip. I’ve found Texas to be fun, urbane, cultured, inquisitive, and happening. Perhaps there are rural pockets of the state that are more like the stereotype, but I’ve yet to come across them – and hope I don’t!

Fiber Comes in Capsules! Take a Bottle with You.

How unpleasant, to bring up bathroom habits while traveling. But yes, I’ll go there.

Without fail, I get constipated when traveling. Probably more as I got older, but still, it’s frightfully unpleasant and inconvenient. I suppose it’s a combination of routines being interrupted as well as diet alterations, coming together to deal a death blow to regularity.

I tried for years to just tweak the diet so I was eating like usual, but that ultimately didn’t work so well, because it was hard to control. Then I discovered Metamucil for everyday use at home, and then – I discovered that fiber came in capsules in a little bottle! Who knew? Certainly not me. But how perfect are these little fiber pills for trips? Honestly, since I discovered this secret-in-plain-sight, I haven’t been constipated while away from home. Highly recommended!

Five Cons to Taking a Road Trip

In a previous post I listed Five Reasons to Take a Road Trip, but where there’s pluses, inevitably you find a few minuses. Here’s Five Cons to Taking a Road Trip.

Oh, My Aching Back and Legs!

We’ve all been bombarded with information during the pandemic emphasizing that sitting on your ass all day in front of a computer is bad for you. We knew that; we’ve heard that for years. Basically sitting in the driver’s seat is the exact same position and is equally as bad if not more so, as at least at home you have the option of standing up and stretching every few minutes if you want.

Doing that in a car would be impossible, or if not strictly impossible, highly inconvenient. As I’ve aged, I increasingly suffer from stiffness, as well as other aches and pains. I have what was diagonosed as lumbar radiculopathy, a fancy phrase for sciatica, which affects me more in the front of my leg than in back.

My solution on long road trips is to set a timer and actually pull off the road and walk around/stretch every hour at least. Seems to help a lot even if it makes the trip longer. That, and Ibuprofen.

I Have All The Time in the World – Or Not

Talking about the United States here — the country (continental 48 states) is huge and it takes a really long time to get places in a motor vehicle (especially west of the Mississippi). Your level of patience is something to gauge before you head out on a big road trip. You might very well get bored or anxious. In our world, we expect, more and more, instant gratification.

Additionally, it’s tough to plan a lengthy road trip with great accuracy. The longer you’re on the road, the more likely it is you’ll encounter bad weather or a mechanical problem, which leads me to:

A Car is a Machine with Parts that Break and Wear Out

It took me a long time to not feel that car failures were personal in nature. That my car wouldn’t get really mad at me (like, for not washing it enough) and fail; that it was, merely, a collection of inanimate parts that worked together to achieve movement and at times, parts in that sequence would collapse.

They’d get old and die, they’d just wear out, they’d crack under extreme heat or cold or axle-busting potholes. Tires would go flat. Starters would not start anything. The radiator would overheat or spring a leak. Wiper blades would crack and disintegrate during operation, right in front of your eyes, while your windshield fogs up reducing visibility (while you’re going 70) to near zero.

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My solution to accepting the inevitability of of mechanical failure is a AAA membership and a credit card.

Danger Lurks

Personal Danger, (assault, robbery. . .) certainly is something to be wary of on the road, though I do think using common sense can minimize the danger of encountering it. For instance, we’ve all seen or heard about the ghostly hitchhiker. Solution: Don’t stop to pick one up. What about homicidal truck drivers, like in Spielberg’s first film Duel? Avoid road rage of any kind by assuming that the other car/truck is always right, and you never are. But what if you’re in the right? Reality check: Do you want to be right or do you want remain alive?

Try to avoid highway rest stops for extended visits (though even I sometimes take naps at those — but try to park away from other people). Beware of large truckstops which may be magnets for individuals with criminal intent. In Native American country, there’s always the Skinwalker.

Another form of danger: Bad Weather – thunderstorms, blizzards or other snow, tornados, searing heat, hurricanes, etc. Most of these can seem to appear out of nowhere. I once had to outflank several funnel clouds while driving in New Mexico, in the middle of nowhere, with no shelter or buildings of any kind in sight. Harrowing! Perhaps even more problematic when you usually live in a benign climate (like Southern California, where I live) and suddenly encounter “real” weather.

Nutrition is a Challenge

It takes a lot of planning, preparation and then replenishing to bring your own healthy food, though it’s doable. I’ve taken trips with the cooler stocked up and it’s turned out great. It’s an extra layer to your packing for the trip but worth it. I prefer to eat food I’ve prepared myself, knowing what’s in it and all that. I’d usually prep two meals per day plus bottled water and snacks, and then splurge with one meal bought on the road.

Options along the interstates are usually unhealthy fast food, or even worse, in those little stores attached to gas stations – that packaged dreck they sell can only loosely be called “food.” Heart attack in a bag. Stroke in a sack. Diabetes disaster in wait. So you have to choose carefully, though if you’re lucky enough to be passing a city while the hunger urge strikes, you probably can find something awesome.

In my new, mostly-true memoir of a road trip (Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America), I do talk about my food choices, though it was a long time ago. I’ve gotten much healthier since then! You can also probably find more than five cons to taking a road trip!

Five Reasons to Take a Road Trip

For long distances, especially cross regions or across country, getting behind the wheel sounds decidedly inconvenient and unpleasant. It would seem much nicer to settle into a comfy airliner seat, take a nap and then – voila, you’re landing in a place it would have taken many hours or a couple of days to drive to.

As nice as that may be, there are benefits to covering your tracks the old fashioned way. Here’s just five reasons to take a road trip:

Scenery

The geography of the United States is stunning as well as varied. You can fly high over the Rockies on a clear day and see the mountains and snow, but the raw experience of actually driving through a mountain district is something everyone should experience at least once.

The pine scent, coming up on a sudden snow squall, a small herd of deer at the side of the highway, even the slush at the exit to a rest stop are all part of the sensual journey through a real landscape. You don’t get that from staring down from 35,000 feet.

That’s just one example – substitute mountains for desert, or desert for coastline, and you get the idea.

People

On a plane, you might meet somebody from, let’s say, Albuquerque. They may give you the resident’s silver dollar description of the highlights and lowlights of their town. A richer experience is to chat up, say, a waiter at a diner, who can give you a local’s opinion of one must-see sight before you have to drive out of town, in a way that only the local can tell it.

Or, you may see people that upend what you previously thought about a particular place. For instance, in driving through Kansas, I’ve seen cowboys. Stetsons, jeans, boots, something I thought might be reserved for a place like Texas. In Kansas I thought I’d see overalls only. So, a road trip can be a stereotype-buster.

Regional Food

I guess an airline could serve you some version of regional cuisine. But, of course, it would be dry, probably either overheated or cold, and be overpriced. No comparison at all with going to a restaurant on the ground that serves authentic local cuisine.

Also, food that’s mass produced like something for a chain or an airline has little incentive to be innovative or surprising. Independent restaurants in out of the way places are the exact opposite. Whether it’s Texas barbecue, Cajun recipes in Louisiana, seafood in New England or Americanized German or Scandinavian dishes in the upper Midwest, you find delicious authenticity on the road.

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Serendipity

A relaxed road trip sets up perfect circumstances for serendipity to happen. Most often for me this has meant coming across something in the landscape that I did not know was there, but yet it turned out to be the perfect thing for the time and place.

I was off the main roads to get to Mt. Rushmore; then I realized that an iconic image from a movie I loved (Devil’s Tower in Wyoming, from Close Encounters of the Third Kind) was within easy driving distance of where I was, so I could include that on my itinerary. Or, meeting a sexy guy by chance in Boston, who turns out to live in Denver, a stop on my journey. He turned out to be a fortuitous tour guide and well, a lot more. Which brings me to:

The Kindness of Strangers

Especially now in our hyper-partisan world, it’s pretty easy to lump huge swaths of territory into stereotypes. On a road trip we’re reminded that people are individuals, and most often, friendly and hospitable.

The very nature of a road trip — you’re in a car that must stop for gas and food and rest, at least at some point — makes it likely that you’ll come in contact with locals, who can add a tremendous amount of color to a journey through a particular area. Whether it’s an historical perspective, a suggestion for a restaurant, or directions to your next stop via much more interesting back roads, it’s the people who live there that give a region its personality. Definitely something you can’t get from reading about an area or flying high above it.

Those were just Five Reasons to Take a Road Trip, though there are many more. To find out what I found on my own road trip, check out my new book Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America.