Whether you go by air, by car, by boat or by foot — traveling solo can be a learning experience. Here are five things I’ve learned on my various travels by myself:

I’m Not as Shy as I Thought

When I was a kid, I was quite hesitant to reach out to other kids and had a somewhat difficult time making friends, especially after a certain age (like, when adolescence kicked in). This is a real handicap to development. Remember, the Smiths’ hit song goes: “shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.”

That’s my take on it too. But when traveling solo, interacting with people you don’t know is an imperative, simply because there is no one else you know where you find yourself. I realized that, like so many things, it was a process of desensitization. The more you do it (talk to strangers) the easier it becomes. I’d even say that today I wouldn’t describe myself as shy, though I was described that way as a child.

The World is Way Friendlier Than You Think

Another thing I’ve learned traveling solo, especially in countries outside of my own (the U.S.) is that the people of the world are, in general, friendly. Americans are brought up with this crazy and inaccurate sense of exceptionalism, that anything and everything is always better in the U.S., which is, frankly, bullshit. I suppose this largely comes out of victory in WWII when we were the leaders of the “free” world for a while. That period is certainly over now.

Meeting citizens of other countries in their lands enriches a person and makes them more human, simply by absorbing the perspective of the other person, which is going to be different. This ranges from slightly different (say like Canada) to incredibly different (I’ll say India, where I haven’t been, but seems to be a good example). I think to become a citizen of the world is a worthy aspiration.

Overnight Trains/Red Eye Planes/Interstate Rest Stops are real Money Savers

Are you a frugal type? I usually try to be, though doing that effectively does require planning and research. Sometimes I’m too lazy to do that, but this hack never fails to save a few bucks.

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I first discovered that you could save money on youth hostel fees by taking overnight trains while traveling solo in Europe, when I went backpacking for a bit after high school. Most trains had seats that you could pull out to lie flat, and I remember using my parka (I was there in winter) rolled up as a pillow. Granted, it’s easier to accept a little discomfort at 18 that would be less tolerable at 65.

I still take red eye flights (especially to the east coast, where it makes sense with the time change) when I don’t need to be extremely alert upon arrival – so basically for any kind of travel other that business. And, when driving, I nap in my car at rest stops in lieu of paying for a motel room – or when I didn’t plan and no room was available. Not as comfy as a bed, for sure, but it does work — so I always include my pillow and a blanket when I pack for a road trip.

Despite the Stereotypes, Texas is Actually a Really Fun Place

To visit, anyway. Not sure I’d want to live there but — for a liberal gay guy from the west coast, makes sense to be wary about Texas, which at least has a reputation of being a bastion of gun-toting reactionaries who never left the 19th century. Media – especially movies and television — has done little to dispel this false stereotype. I say false because in reality, it’s not my lived experience.

I’ve been surprised on just about every trip I’ve made to Texas – no matter if it was a road trip, like in my recent mostly-true memoir Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America, or a more mundane business trip or film festival trip. I’ve found Texas to be fun, urbane, cultured, inquisitive, and happening. Perhaps there are rural pockets of the state that are more like the stereotype, but I’ve yet to come across them – and hope I don’t!

Fiber Comes in Capsules! Take a Bottle with You.

How unpleasant, to bring up bathroom habits while traveling. But yes, I’ll go there.

Without fail, I get constipated when traveling. Probably more as I got older, but still, it’s frightfully unpleasant and inconvenient. I suppose it’s a combination of routines being interrupted as well as diet alterations, coming together to deal a death blow to regularity.

I tried for years to just tweak the diet so I was eating like usual, but that ultimately didn’t work so well, because it was hard to control. Then I discovered Metamucil for everyday use at home, and then – I discovered that fiber came in capsules in a little bottle! Who knew? Certainly not me. But how perfect are these little fiber pills for trips? Honestly, since I discovered this secret-in-plain-sight, I haven’t been constipated while away from home. Highly recommended!