Tag Archives: gay community

Aging People With H.I.V. Struggle to Live – New York Times

Even though this New York Times story was published a couple of months ago now, I thought it was important and wanted to highlight and link to it.

As older people become invisible to so much of our youth-obsessed society, long-term HIV survivors face a special stigma. I think there’s some truth to the idea that this is something we’d rather not talk about, thank you very much, let’s just close that door and forget about it, or forget about it as much as we can.

And why is that — because these men, these women, remind us of that time we still shudder at the memory of. Reminding us of the time and of the people, the thousands we’ve lost, a reminder every time we look into an older face and remember what we were like in our 20s, 30s . . . The pain and the fear come back. That fear.

So AIDS is as treatable as diabetes — is that true, or are we fooling ourselves? Sometimes the wonder drugs stop working — does that happen with diabetes, too? Maybe it does. I still hear about mysterious complications long HIV-positive folks have with their health, which may or may not be related to the treatments themselves. And the longer these people do live, the more uncharted the territory, right?

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Still we have the almost institutionalized fundraisers in the gay community, the “AIDS emergency” — hmm, maybe we need to fund prevention more. Maybe we need to fund a vaccine. Yet all these things are being done, still. Still people get infected, now it’s mostly those too young to remember the fear.

Depression and isolation, often found with otherwise healthy people who are aging, is also part of this picture. One quote from the story stuck out at me: “as older gay men with H.I.V., they feel shut out from AIDS service organizations geared to younger or newly infected men, and from bars where they once felt at home.” That is true. And it’s not just older men who have HIV who are shut out — that ageism is pervasive.

Has Pride Jumped the Shark?

Bradley Manning, c by Semino1e

or did that happen long ago? Or maybe it’s just been insidious over the years, like the proverbial slow cooking frog in the pot.

We’ve gone from being (mostly) afraid to talk about who we are to having the right to marry and the right to serve our country in the armed forces (and what could possibly be more boring and traditional than these two things?*).

The dark and dangerous area of town where the gay bars (mostly) used to be where I grew up is now a highly desired, yuppie loft paradise. (that’s Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

In recent years, my jaw has dropped further and further to the pavement with the appearance of professional street vendors, the type of guys who come to any public event in Los Angeles, with their carefully and artfully arranged carts of rainbow paraphernalia, no doubt all made in China or another far-away, lower-wage country.

Buy some Pride for yourself! Wear something with a rainbow on it, better yet, several rainbows! I was even given a rainbow Mardi Gras beads at a GLBT lit conference I was recently at. And we’re supposed to be the fashion trendsetters?

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Really?? I guess it’s the price of success, when you become, in so many ways, the status quo. I know we keep this up to show kids from Kansas and Oklahoma and Alabama and all the rest of the officially hateful places that there is an alternative, there is tolerance and acceptance and there is a place for them. And truly, I do remember, it wasn’t always like this.
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So it’s even weirder what happened in San Francisco — remember, this is the City Harvey Milk famously invited queer youth to come to if they wanted to be free — when they threw Bradley Manning under the bus.

I’m not sure if Bradley Manning is a hero or not. He very well may be. But we do know he is a gay man who had the guts to challenge power with huge, unimaginable consequences for himself for the rest of his life. Shining a light on something he felt was deeply wrong and immoral. Since his arrest, he’s been held in solitary. He’s been interrogated. I’m not sure how “enhanced” this was.

Yet he seems to have been met mostly with silence by the official gay community. Cause it might embarrass the somewhat cozy relationship we have with the current administration, or maybe it’s just embarrassing now that we have equality in this area of the military, this gay guy gives our secrets to Wikileaks for the world to know. Well, you knew that would happen once you let those queers in.

The thing of it is, the Gay Pride Movement was founded on the coattails of the civil rights, anti-war, and women’s rights movements of the 1960s, all which challenged the status quo and our definitions of what was right and what was wrong.

That we can’t even come to include Bradley Manning in our embrace of the issues really makes me wonder about the health of Gay Pride as a political force. It’s almost like, “don’t rock the boat, we’re this close guys” type of a thing.

But at what price?

(* by saying this, I’m not discounting that both marriage and the military have advantages, often huge ones, for those who participate in them. I believe everyone should have the right to marry or be in the military should they so choose. What I mean is that these two institutions have failed for many, many people over long periods of time and I question the push to assimilate in this direction, rather than being a beacon of hope and new direction for humanity, which is traditionally a gay role. )

Gay Bar Rejection!

Oh yes. I got a kick out of this, even if I am a little late for Valentine’s Day! I do suppose the experience of rejection is similar no matter what one’s orientation might be, but I, of course, am more familiar with the gay brand of rejection.

Sadly, this doesn’t happen much anymore because I don’t ~~have enough energy~~ go out much anymore! But if I did… also don’t drink and don’t smoke, though I did enjoy Robbie Joe Banfitch’s tutorial vicariously – it’s true, imbibing and smoking something does dull this pain of rejection.

From where I sit at 50+, it’s hard to believe somebody who looks like Robbie gets rejected much at all – so if it happens to him, is there any hope for the rest of us? They might as well tack up a sign over the door which reads “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.”

Oh, and Robbie Joe: 1) Welcome to East Hollywood, and 2) that shirt really wasn’t too tight. In fact, just leave the shirt off altogether. If you want.

If not, there’s always the kitty. Or the dog. Or the other kitty.

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11 of 14 men take plea bargains in Warm Sands sex sting

Link to: 11 of 14 men take plea bargains in Warm Sands sex sting

the offensive parking lot.

Well, finally, this is mostly over (the Warm Sands Sex Sting) for those men “allegedly” entrapped and busted over in Warm Sands for exposing themselves.

I took this photo of the offending parking lot this morning on the way back from yoga. At least this morning, no one was hiding behind one of the bushes or the palm trees waiting for a homo to walk by.

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Give me a f**king break. We live in a town where straight prostitutes hang out on bus benches and take their johns to side streets for in-car blowjobs. Where is the crackdown on that, PSPD?

We live in a town where there’s a water park with frequent and ongoing reports of public, straight groping and sex! Shocking! Where is the crackdown on those lusty teenagers, PSPD?

Thought so. You don’t care. You only cared about a few gay men at a well-established gay cruising spot doing nothing that offended anyone (there were never any complaints – NO ONE ever goes there other than gay men) EXCEPT the officers of the PSPD. Well, we know what happened: after hearing about the Sting, the community became outraged and eventually, the police chief had to resign.

Dominquez did the right thing. I can only hope that eventually the PSPD hires enough gay-friendly officers to put the bad feelings behind, though I suspect the mistrust will now continue for years. Not that the gay community is any stranger to police discord…