Author Archives: JimArnoldLA

Self-Publishing Update #6 “Kept”

Things are rolling along with “Kept.” The book is still due to be launched March 20, and I’m now in the thick of putting marketing tasks together – which is why I’ve not had a new blog post in a couple of weeks. That and because: holidays, you know. No one feels like working. Do they?

So these self-publishing update posts are hopefully helpful for those either going that route themselves or contemplating it. As I’ve said before in various places, it’s as much work to market and launch a book appropriately as it is to write one. Since I’m only one person and can’t buy marketing services, I have to pick and choose very carefully those tactics I think will give me the most bang for my slim sheaf of bucks.

Books like the one I’m launching, “Kept” – very much in the genre category, an LGBT title subcategory, mystery/suspense – well, these things live and die by peer reviews. Yes, the book will be available in bookstores, but the vast majority of sales will be electronic copies, e-books, likely bought on amazon.com or perhaps on barnesandnoble.com. So it’s peer reviews, and reviews in general that I’m focusing efforts on.

The tactics are:

Advance Review Copies to be sent to people who, in return for a free book, promise to post an online short review the day of launch, March 20.

A blog tour, where I hope to get additional publicity and reviews, to be scheduled that third week in March. I’m currently looking for a blog tour company to handle this; so far have been unsuccessful. Most do the romance genre or YA titles, there’s no one focusing specifically on LGBT titles (hint to self: future business opportunity?)

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A reading tour, which is mostly about fun, and will likely be limited to California and possibly locales nearby (Tucson, anyone?) – so I’m investigating places to do that.

Targeted traditional press – Will be looking for reviews or features in LGBT publications that publish in English, as well as a few places in Palm Springs, as this book is set there and that would be fun.

Social Media updates – besides this blog, I’ll be posting updates on Facebook and tweeting the book, as I did with “The Forest Dark.”

Contests – I’ll enter a few book contests. You never know with these but again they’re fun and great publicity if you happen to win or to place as a finalist or runner-up.

What else? What am I leaving out that I should put in my mix? Love to hear your ideas. Also, I have my own list of folks who are getting Advanced Review Copies, but if you happen to see this and want one (remember, it’s a free book in exchange for an online review) shoot me a note and we’ll get you a copy.

“Kept” Book Cover, the real one, has arrived.

Here it is, the final cover image for “Kept,” my novel of crime and sex set in Palm Springs. Available March 2016, exact date TBD, but targeting March 20.

My hope is this cover will make readers want to know more. What do you think?
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“Age Appropriate” Daddyhunt Blogs

I’ve written a number of blog entries on older/younger relationships or on issues affecting aging in gay men. I started that process a few years ago when I did some blog posts on daddyhunt.com’s website, for their blog “Age Appropriate.”

So, if you’re interested, here’s the link back to the archive for those posts.

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Kept Teaser Trailer!

Here’s a little teaser trailer for the book, “Kept,” which is still scheduled to debut March 20. I used some shots of Palm Springs that figure heavily in the narrative — the tram to Mt. San Jacinto, windmill farms, palm trees and washes, etc., along with themes from the book.

Over the top and oh-so-dramatic! That’s the point, right? Hope you enjoy this 45 seconds. You can order/pre-order KEPT here.
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https://youtu.be/5g8GYC46SaQ

“Kept” Self-Publishing Update #5

Here’s some new info on the book, on the process —

I actually bought and paid for the CreateSpace process. For me, this time, it includes a cover design, cover images, and an interior layout. I also bought the conversion to e-book package, as that is needed.

Many self-pub authors are now eschewing paper books entirely; it’s true that most of the sales of my other two books (Benediction and The Forest Dark) have been e-books. Call me old fashioned. Call me a guy who wants to enter the occasional writing contest (which usually require actual paper books). Call me someone who wants to present one of these books on occasion to others — and there’s nothing like a book with your name on it.

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The prostate helps men experience viagra free more satisfying sexual climax. In doing so, as part of the nichestlouis.com order viagra subscription or service that you signed up for, you may have inadvertently or unknowingly agreed to receive offers via email from that company in the future. This output has acquired its own worthy place in market and in the life of impotency victims for its beneficial qualities like less reactive tendency, well tolerated chemical buy cheap levitra structure and long hours of relief from impotency issue but in the proper supervisions and guidance of the physician. His other characters include Any Given Sunday, and The Waterboy, Shaft. #10 Bubba Smith – Bubba Smith was a fantastic defensive lineman for the Colts, Raiders, and viagra sale online Oilers. This process could go as fast as one month, or even less I suppose, though that’s not an issue with me and “Kept.” Because – I’ve settled on a launch date, which is (drumroll) March 20, 2016.

Why that date? I need about 4 months to put marketing to good use, and that date just happens to be my birthday, so I figured, why not choose that day? Worse things could happen.

So in buying these services I did finalize the book’s copy and sent it off. I also gave my thoughts on the cover design to one of their designers; hoping they come back with something that I love that can also sell books.

The final piece of the plan for this week is putting together the actual detailed marketing calendar, so that all tasks are done well in advance of the launch in March. That’s an unwieldy mess at the moment – the marketing, that is – so I’m looking for ways to make it easier on myself. Our digital world is great, but I find I like things like wall calendars and bulletin boards where I can really visualize a process – so “Kept” marketing might well become a design feature in my Valley Village living room.

Oh and one other thing — trying to figure out when to write Book #4, which is a sequel to Benediction. I think I need a nap before Thanksgiving!

Avoiding the Gay Friend Zone — A Few Tips

I see lots of advice tips on websites and vlogs on YouTube addressing this topic, almost always from a straight perspective, almost always the straight male perspective. About how not to be a woman’s best buddy when you would really like to be her lover.

This is also an issue in gay land. It can be even more confusing, since we find our sexual partners and most of our platonic friends from the same gender as ourselves. When you meet a new gay man, I’m sure I’m not the only one to want to classify him into either the potential dating/sex category or into the possible friend category–almost immediately. (And I am talking here about actual in-person meetings with guys, what they used to call meet-cute, not casual sex transactions delivered via smartphone or computer app — although those certainly have their place and value.)

And it’s not always apparent which one it should be! Friend or stud? Is he available? Am I attracted to him that way and just as important, does he have an attraction to me? Sometimes further investigation or time is necessary to determine which category this man should fall into.

Does all this seem rather predatory and cold? It seems that way as I’m writing it. I guess a better world would be one where we’re all kumbayah and open to whatever gifts strangers have for us and we have for them, whether that means sex/romance, friendship, neighborliness, networking, help, education and enlightenment, mentoring, or what have you. But I do think it’s honest that people with a sex drive who are looking for possible partners classify newcomers in this binary way.

That said, in gay land I think there’s a pretty quick time limit to figure this out, if indeed sex/romance is really where you want to go with this new person. Because if nothing happens over the course of a few meetings, most of the time that means you are in the friend zone.

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So, how to avoid that if your desire is on the personal side?

Be direct. This is no time to hope that being flirty will get picked up on or that he’s going to notice you sighing in his direction. Don’t you love a confident guy who verbalizes his desire by saying such things as “I’d like to have sex with you” or “I’d like to spend more time with you to get to know you in a personal way.” I wish that would happen with everyone. It doesn’t, because
We’re afraid of rejection. Because it hurts so bad. But if you can get over it, because this is numbers game, you can keep moving things along and go on to the next person. If he says no to your advances, you’re in the friend zone and that’s great. Not great if you had that crush, but yes great because “no” is as good an answer as “yes,” because it is definitive and keeps you moving.
Don’t wait too long to figure out what you want with him. After dating/flirting/f****ing with other gay men now for over 40 years I can tell you that you already know in your gut. Trying to decide is just a game we play with ourselves trying to avoid point #2, above (rejection). Honestly there comes a point where that spark that could’ve ignited is gone and he’s going to be your sister not your lover.
And it’s great having friends! Not to say that if you end up in the friend zone with someone you really wanted to go to bed with that it won’t be valuable and wonderful and a really fantastic friendship. I had such a relationship with at least one guy that was truly wonderful. And, on the opposite side, I do know at least one married gay couple that were “best friends” forever before the romance kicked in, so that can happen too.

Bonus related item: People who show outsize interest on social media want more from you than lunch once every six months. You can start making up this list of potential partners from those who “like” every photo you ever post on facebook, who retweet your tweets on a regular basis, who “like” your instagram photos, too! Not foolproof but I think it’s a good indicator that he’s interested in more than being affirmative of your social media presence.

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The Number One Factor that Allows for a Car-Free Life*

*in the contemporary United States. I don’t know about other places; I suppose this is a worldwide “law.”

The Blogger at CicLAvia in the valley, outside of OCH’s.

I found this post on the Internet. I often look for stories or articles that validate my own car free choice, just so I can feel some camaraderie and not think I’m the only person in the world who has done this and also thinks it’s a doable idea. (I don’t have many friends in L.A. who are car free; some, but usually it’s not been a choice for them and they’re not particularly happy about it and hope to change this circumstance ASAP).

One of the things that Zachary Shahan talks about in his post is the pleasurability of his car free decision. That is key, isn’t it — if it’s not a good and pleasurable way to live, then why do it? I’ve had enough martyrdom in my life already, I don’t really want any more.
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I admit that feeling the pleasure is sometimes hard, living in the midst of the most intense car culture on the planet. Also, the writer of this great post is obviously younger than me by decades, and there’s something to be said about youthful optimism in any situation. Isn’t there?

If you haven’t guessed the factor or read the article, I can tell you it’s location. The same old real estate cliche, location location location.

And I think that’s true. The very definition of doable transportation depends on where you are and where you need to go. For myself, I commute to a part time job using a bicycle and public transportation (I take my bike on a subway). For all other daily life activities and shopping, I can walk or ride a bike. For social activities, I usually take public transport or if that’s not really practical, a cab or an Uber or a Lyft, which are always practical in Los Angeles. I happen to live around the corner from a major stop along a major rapid busway. This really does help. It’s a good location.

“Kept” Self-Publishing Update #4

at the trails on Jacinto

Actually a shot from my old house in Palm Springs at dawn

this was from an exhibit at the PS Modernism Show

Top of the Tram observation area

The desert, looking toward San Gorgonio Pass

When you self-publish, you do all the marketing yourself, or you hire someone to do it. Since I’m in no position to hire anyone, I do it myself. I think my background in public relations helps with that – at least in the strategy department, I usually know what’s required. Having the energy to actually put all those things together is another thing entirely!

But we persist, because we must. So, last week I didn’t get around to a blog post because I was out in Palm Springs (2 days, though I mostly got it done in 1) taking pictures and video. Why? Because that’s where “Kept” is set. I’ll use the images in the social media campaign for the book, to illustrate blog posts here, but also Facebook, Twitter, and the book website pages .

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As for the finished text itself, I’m going through it one more time, reading it aloud to myself in the edit. This book, this genre, it’s the type of thing that just should flow. So I know if I get tongue tied, or say words that aren’t there, there may be a good reason to make the text reflect that. Does that make sense?

I hope so! Anyway, attached are a couple of photos I shot last week. Palm Springs, baby.

Another Benefit of Going Car Free: No Cops

from "Less Than Zero" (Spoiler): this would be transporting dead bodies due to drug overdoses.

from “Less Than Zero” (Spoiler): this crime would be transporting a dead body due to a drug overdose.

How we find out about true crimes – this is assuming that we, I mean the majority of the law-abiding population, are not criminals ourselves, is likely relegated to the media: what we see on TV, what we read in newspapers and online publications and blogs, or what we may hear. Or overhear.

I read the usual papers. I’m also a fan (it’s a guilty pleasure) of Cops, the pseudo documentary TV show that follows police departments around on their law enforcement duties. Let’s forget for a moment that the focus of that show seems to be to see how many young men of color’s lives we can destroy by stupid inflated charges and antiquated and moronic non-violent drug laws. Let’s forget that piece for a moment and just focus on the undeniable evidence that a huge number of crimes (and thus, arrests and interactions with the police) occur in the presence of motor vehicles. Am I right?

Here’s a short list:

auto theft
using an auto as a getaway car for robbing a bank or a store or what have you
kidnapping
drug dealing/running
firearms running
vehicular manslaughter
vehicular murder
mobile prostitution
driving without a license
driving without registration
transporting illegals across state lines
using a car for human trafficking
using a car for the location of a crime, such as assault, murder, rape
using a car for drive-by shootings
odometer fraud
ram and scam
hit and runs
speeding while driving
unsafe lane changes and other moving violations
drunk driving
driving while texting
driving without a seatbelt
using a motor vehicle for a drug factory (hello Breaking Bad)
child or animal endangerment (leaving an innocent locked in a hot car)
Verbal assaults, i.e. Road Rage

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And that is a just a short brainstormed list. As far as I know, you’re not going to get a ticket for walking too fast down the sidewalk. I’ve also never seen a cyclist cited for speeding, though I guess it could happen. No, really, cops are focused on motor vehicles. If you look at that list above, it seems a car is actually a prerequisite for carrying out the crime. For instance, when was the last time you robbed a bank or an art museum and took the bus home? It’s been awhile, I bet.

So there you go, another fringe benefit of going car free. Less potential involvement with authorities. I think we can all agree, these days that’s a lot better for everyone.

And We Went to Guadalajara

We made it! In front of the Jalisco State Government Building in GDL

Seems like he’s beckoning.

GDL Cathedral

Detail GDL Cathedral

Plan ahead.

Typical traffic.

Stone Eagle Monument in GDL.

I like the color. We had Birria while in GDL.

Chandelier in Tlaquepaque.

I liked this building, it’s a magic shop.

In front of Vicente Fernandez’s ranch.

With Mexican Superstar Vicente Fernandez.

Mexican History mural in Chapala.

Blogger in front of the mural.

Dave Arnold and I at Chapala (Ajijic)

Plaza Photo GDL.

Old School in Tlaquepaque.

Me and masks. Must have been that insomnia day!

Wires, building, door, rails.

Historic Center shot.

Mariachi Band in the Plaza.

A little bit of found gay on a sidestreet.

It was fashion week in GDL. Literally.

Divine Decay.

On the corner.

Green detail of building.

Dave in front of one of the plaza fountains.

Some big ass doors on that church.

Flower lane in Chapala.

This is beauty School, GDL style.

At the Cafe Madrid, GDL.

Three Mexican ladies and their ice cream in Tlaquepaque.

More of the mural in Chapala.

Another Plaza fountain shot.

Courtyard of the Hotel Morales, GDL

Cathedral Night shot

Another plaza view.

Vicente Fernandez’s guitar-shaped pool.

Building detail, GDL.

Stations of the Cross lit up with little lights, Tlaquepaque.

My future patio! In Tlaquepaque.

Basilica Ceiling.

AA in GDL, next to the Michoacana.

Who? Oh, my brother David and I. To see it. Because I wanted to go to Mexico. Because it was his birthday. Because I was interested in seeing Lake Chapala, where large numbers of U.S. expatriates go. It’s pretty there, not sure it would be too stimulating. Chapala, that is. Perhaps you bring your own stimulation. Affordable most definitely.

So, to answer the question, is it safe to go to Guadalajara? I can answer that. Yes, it was fine. The scariest thing that happened to me over the course of our short, 4 night stay was that one night I had trouble sleeping. I have insomnia sometimes; I can hardly blame that on Mexico. (That damn Obama!)

The people we met there were lovely and they were POLITE. They had MANNERS. I’m not talking just about service people at hotels or restaurants, but people on the street. Imagine that, what a concept! Someone’s mama raised that country right. OK, there were dark alleys, I wouldn’t rush to venture down. There were lots of insanely armed police and security guards all over. I wouldn’t confront them. If you have a modicum of the usual street sense that you’d need in any place like L.A., NY, Chicago, New Orleans, etc., you’d feel pretty safe in Guadalajara. Don’t let the scaredy cat warnings you find on social media and from the state department frighten you. If you’re not going to confront the government of Mexico or the drug cartels, my opinion is, it’s as safe or safer than living in a place like I do, Los Angeles, where really bad things happen to people every day.

OK, end rant. Now for the pictures. I like taking pictures of buildings and parts of buildings, always wondering what is behind the walls, who built the building, who lives there or works there, what their lives are like, etc. So some of these are likely moody that way. Since I live in a place where everything is always new and very dry, old and weathered and moldy (as in lots of humidity) always fascinates me. So enjoy. I will comment on some of the photos directly.

UPDATE October 16 2015 – I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that the Guadalajara area can be dangerous to your health if you’re a member of a cartel or the military or the police. Less than a week after our return, this article on an arrest appeared in the L.A. Times.

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