Tag Archives: vital masculinity

Sexy in the Eye of the Beholder

I saw this, thought it was lovely, so I wanted to share it:

“When gay men accept their own aging bodies and learn to lust after the changing bodies of the men around them, they grow up. When gay men cast off their manufactured youth fetish and celebrate essential, healthy, and whole masculine aging (manliness in all its imperfect manifestations), they discover new sexual possibilities, new ways of imaging and creating themselves, a whole new world where gay liberation becomes a limitless journey and not a restricted destination.”

(This is from “The Ephebe is Dead – Long Live the Bear” by David Greig in The Bear Book II ed. by Les Wright, 2001.)

American culture in general suffers from youth worship, and American gay culture even more so, if that’s possible. Even in 2021 it’s rare to see a photo of anyone over the age of 40 (and certainly no advertising) in any LGBT publication. Life doesn’t end at 35, it never did and it’s really important to remember that, even when the larger culture screams “youth” incessantly.

One of the things about the above quote that rings most true is the notion of a “manufactured youth fetish” – we’re told, mostly by advertisers, to lust after youth and thinness/hairlessness because that’s all we’re shown. The reality is oh, so much broader. Sexy is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

So let’s celebrate our age – whatever it happens to be – as vital, masculine and sexy in its own unique expression.

Here’s some photos of the blogger, from teenage hippie to masked senior citizen. I felt sexy (well, at least a little bit!) in every photo. I hope that continues.

(Here are some great essays from Damon Jacobs on the power of aging and the wisdom that can come from that.)

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