which is why I didn’t post anything on Saturday. I was driving for a lot of the day. But, I have photos from the weekend.
I used to live in San Francisco, so it’s long past the time for me to do anything sightseeing or tourist-related. I hate crowds in particular – so I’m not going to go anywhere there’s any possibility of encountering one.
The reason for my trip was a Celebration of Life – a cousin’s husband died almost two years ago, but a service was delayed because of Covid-19. Finally, she was able to have it and it was wonderful.
I didn’t take photos there out of privacy – and really, do we need to document absolutely everything we do for social media? I don’t think so. More so as time goes on.
That being said, I hope you enjoy these photos. They include yours truly at the foggy and chilly beach at San Gregorio; a few from Golden Gate Park, including the Ferris wheel, the Shakespeare Garden (with the sundial), and a pleasant morning shot. There’s the Nancy Pelosi Drive sign (in GG park), which is timely.
We’re counting on you, Nancy!
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My obsession over working in Hollywood began when I was a kid. We were a family in love with the movies. My father, a film scholar and critic, wrote about them and taught them. As kids, we went to double features (that was still a thing in the 1960s) on Saturdays for as long as I could remember. Oscar Night was treated with the same reverence as any Catholic Holy Day of Obligation.
The impetus for my road trip chronicled in Wanderslut 1996 was a layoff from a Hollywood job. At the time, it seemed like the end of the world.
No!! Has this happened to you, too?
It was the reason I moved to Los Angeles. Officially it was for film school, but that was really just a ruse to find a job in the business. And find it I did.
The job I lost was as a Communications Manager (public relations function) at one of the Big Studios. About a year later I traded up and went to work for a well-known entertainment technology company as PR Director. I’d call this Hollywood-Adjacent, though the company had its influence everywhere in this small town.
I eventually left that company for personal reasons (cancer and its existential aftermath!). After that, I worked sporadically as a background actor (read “extra”).
But the obsession I’d had over working in Hollywood was gone. I think these are among the key reasons:
Hollywood Treats You Like Shit
No, really, they do. They can – or at least they can get away with it – because there’s a line of 500 young aspirants waiting around the corner for you. Just waiting for you to abandon your job so they can take it.
Just like me, other movie obsessed people from around the world who had the same dream and moved to LA.
Damaged. Likely toxic.
Even though I did end up working for a couple of “screamers,” as they’re affectionately known, I wasn’t ever abused physically or sexually, as so many were. It was more like the ghastly lack of support and training. And, at least at the yeoman levels, salaries were mediocre and there was not much chance of advancement anywhere unless you really sucked up or got lucky.
Other Industries Treat You Better
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Specifically, at least for me, the Tech Sector. I worked this job at the intersection of technology and entertainment, and they were heavily influenced (as well as located near) by Silicon Valley and its values.
Top of the World! Or, at least, top of San Francisco when I worked in tech/entertainment.
Which, at least at the time (late 1990s-early 2000s) including loads of inservice training, yearly salary surveys (to make sure you were being paid in line with the location and sector), generous profit sharing and even, in my case and at this company, stock options.
Plus respect – and I’m not sure how to put a price tag on that.
I Aged Out of the Glamour
If you can even call it that – but that is a draw, an attraction, and it does have its day. I met and worked with many “stars.” I went to so many parties in the hills I started yawning at the invites. Somewhere there is a photo of me at a party on a yacht in Cannes harbor.
Yes, glamour is a thing.
For me, these things were nice to experience, but ultimately shallow. I was never an extrovert, which really helps if you want to be successful in this milieu. At heart I’m a basically quiet person, and I value solitude and the wilderness much more than I do the glitz and noise (which you get a lot of in entertainment public relations).
One day I woke up and realized I didn’t care about any of it anymore. A chasm then opens up in front of you, demanding an answer to the question, “OK, what’s next?”
Seems appropriate as I write this on Gay Pride Weekend to celebrate Baghdad by the Bay, certainly one of the gayest cities in the world and one of my favorites, as well (and – I’m a former resident, too – 1998-2003).
Five Things to Do for Free in San Francisco
You probably know that it’s one of the most expensive U.S. cities in which to live. Never fear — if visiting, there are loads of things to do in San Francisco for free – and here’s five of them:
Sculpture in Golden Gate Park
Walk through the Park
The Bay Bridge from the Embarcadero
Embarcadero view
Cruisin’ the Castro
View in the Castro
Grace Cathedral
Labyrinth in Grace Cathedral
My cousin and the Blogger at 1996 SF Gay Pride Parade
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Golden Gate Park — This enormous rectangular park has multiple free attractions inside, including various gardens, playing fields, a buffalo paddock, windmills (at beach end), an AIDS Memorial Grove, several lakes with plenty of ducks, and tons of people-watching. Good place to spend a morning or an afternoon – or an entire day.
Strolling the Embarcadero — At the other end of the city from the park, along the bay, is the great Embarcadero and waterside walkway. Views of the skyline, ships of all types, the Bay Bridge, and plenty of salt water fresh air.
Labyrinth at Grace Cathedral — After the stimulation of the city and its outdoor attractions, you may need some quiet time, and what better place for that than to walk the labyrinth in Grace Cathedral at the top of Nob Hill? (The cathedral has two labyrinths, including one outside that’s available 24/7 if the church is locked up.)
Cruising’ the Castro — OK, well it may be a slightly toned-down and multi-rainbowed version of its more radical 60s-70s self, but still there is nothing quite like the Castro, San Francisco’s most iconic gay ‘hood. See the location of Harvey Milk’s camera store, thrill to the sight of one of the best arthouses anywhere (The Castro Theatre), and love the friendliness and charm of this small and very walkable area. You might even pick somebody up – or get picked up.
Land’s End — Rustic and wild hiking area along the Pacific Ocean, also with great views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the ruins of the old Sutro Baths. You could almost forget you’re in a city here with the mighty Pacific spread out before you. It always takes my breath away.
Here’s another in the series of working biographies I’ve posted for characters in my novel “Benefits“. This working biography is for antagonist Glenda Bourne, who also appeared first in the novel “Benediction“.
As with so many of the working biographies for fictional characters, I used this sketch to draw from but did not use all of it. Additionally, I invented other aspects of character not in the working biography at all. So it’s best thought of as resource and starting point.
For some reason, when writing Glenda, I had the image of Princess Diana in my head. Though I clearly state Glenda had long hair, was from South Africa, etc. I think it’s because at the time of writing her initially, I worked with a Brit who had a Diana haircut. So I offer these photos of Diana with short hair channeling Glenda Bourne:
Princess Diana with short hair
Princess Diana with short hair
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Glenda Bourne Working Biography
Glenda Bourne is Ben’s film editor,
that’s the starting point of their relationship.
She wants a Baby – but, she’s a single lesbian and she
doesn’t want a relationship with a man, she just wants some good sperm!
Glenda is a
lesbian, 37 years old, originally from Capetown, South Africa, has lived in SF
for almost 10 years. Film editor. Highly regarded in the Indie production community.
Lives in small apartment in the Tenderloin, off of Ellis street (note, she moved
to Haight in the sequel, to a place on Steiner.)
She’s 5-7,
long brown hair, which she often keeps in a ponytail or up on top of her head.
She has brown eyes, always seems to have a tan, like she’s outdoorsy, which is
odd in SF. She must spend a lot of time in Marin or some other sunny place. She
is fit, not fat and not skinny.
She has a
lot of anger, and is not the most pleasant person to be around. But she can be
persistent and even sweet when she has to, to get something she wants. She
originally came to SF rather than LA or NY (more traditional centers for film
editing) because of the lesbian scene. But, sadly for her, she’s been unable to
really connect with one woman for any long-term thing. She’s had lots of
girlfriends, but nothing has seemed to stick.
Now she has
angst, because of her age, the ticking clock, and she really wants a child.
She’s estranged from her family in S. Africa, perhaps there was some abuse at
home growing up.
Her respect
for Ben is mostly put-upon, she pretty much thinks his film Hell for the Holidays is shit. It was
her ex-girlfriend CJ at Film Artists Foundation who referred Ben.
Her opinion
of him has changed recently since she now sees him not as a filmmaker to deal
with, but as a sperm factory she can order from.
In the sequel, “Benefits”, Glenda has a car. It’s an SUV.
Older, say 1998 black Ford SUV Explorer.
So, February 1 is Spunky Old Broads Day. Which ushers in Spunky Old Broads Month. What better occasion would there be to focus on character Margaret Schmidt from my new novel “Benefits?”
A street in Cole Valley, San Francisco, is the image for the cover of Jim Arnold’s “Benefits.”
I’ve posted a number of working biographies of characters before, to show part of the writer’s process. Margaret Schmidt is no different. Like Ben, Jake, Karen and a few other characters in the book, Ben’s mom Margaret is a returnee. She first appeared in my debut novel “Benediction.”
So — I already had somewhat of a bio going for this Spunky Old Broad when I began “Benefits.” Like with the other returning characters, I added to my greater understanding of who this woman is, and so now have a revised bio. Here is the working biography of Margaret I used as a guide when writing the book:
MARGARET KANNER SCHMIDT
Sex: Female Age: 78.
Height and Weight: 5-4, 130.
Skin: white, silver hair. Pale blue eyes. A German look. Even slightly Slav.
Posture: She’s an older lady, slightly stooped though she
tries her best to be regal.
Appearance: She’s a very good-looking older woman, looks
rich even though she is no longer: “handsome”
Defects: she has a mole “beauty mark” on her right cheek.
Heredity: German. Northern European.
Sociological:
Class: Upper middle class now, was probably more upper class
when she was a child. But they’ve lost most of their money and position in the
ensuing years.
Occupation: Retired Business Executive.
Education: College Degree in Business. It would be from a small and expensive liberal arts college – perhaps a traditional women’s university, east coast. Radcliffe or Bryn Mawr or Wellesley. Which she still refers to, as that is unusual for a Midwesterner.
Home Life: She lives in an old mansion overlooking Lake Michigan in Milwaukee. Race/Nationality: German.
This is where Margaret lived in Wisconsin before she decamped for San Francisco.
Place in Community: Junior league, but not an avid member.
More when she was younger. Plays piano, gave community recitals when younger.
Dabbles now.
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Politics: Rockefeller Republican – now says she is an Independent,
because the party is not the same.
Amusements, hobbies: She has a greenhouse in MKE, where,
oddly, she collects cactus. She used to drive to the southwest and steal plants
from the open desert, which is a crime. She’s lonely, sometimes she goes to the
movies, alone, at night, and feels wicked.
Sex Life, Moral Standards: She’s straight, (or so she
thinks) but she’s also a divorcee and older. So, she hasn’t had sex in years,
but she did have boyfriends after the divorce. But not for a few years now. She
still flirts with men, including Jake, which drives Ben insane.
Her personal premise: She wants to keep control, but feels
this is slipping out of her grasp. So, controlling. And failing at it, or only
partially succeeding.
Frustrations and Disappointments:
She often still feels she failed at marriage. She’s unsure as to her success as a parent, and overcompensates in the grandparent area. So even though she doesn’t really know the story with Logan, just the fact of him being around is an excuse for her to spoil this child.
Temperament: Mercurial. More often agreeable than not, but
she does have her moments, particularly at the extreme ends of the day, either
late night or early morning, not the best times for her.
Attitude toward life: she’s closer to the end of her life,
and she doesn’t understand what she’s missed and why she still hasn’t found the
“secret to life, or to happiness.”
Complexes: Afraid of spiders, is a clean freak, who might
even start cleaning the home of people who are hosting here, i.e., Ben and
Jake.
Abilities: Playing the piano. She likes to ride a bike and
is actually good at this, for a 78-year-old woman. She can access apps on a
smart phone.
Qualities: She can cook fairly decently. She’s made great
progress at acceptance of Ben as gay, and of the relationship between him and
Jake. She’s more and more comfortable with it.
IQ: very high.
I used a lot of the bio; a lot I did not use. (Such as her propensity with piano, and her green thumb.) There will likely be another installment of this series so Margaret will be around for more. Who knows, maybe there’s a piano recital in her future? Wouldn’t that be “spunky?”
Even for children characters, it’s helpful to write a working biography. Here’s what I wrote for nine-year-old Logan Bourne in “Benefits:”
Cover of Jim Arnold’s novel “Benefits.”
Logan Bourne
His name is LOGAN BOURNE. Ben or Jake joke that she named the baby after their favorite porn star.!
He’s 9 or 10 in Sequel 1. 4th grade?
Sex: Male Age: 9. Height and Weight: LOOK UP AVERAGES FOR KIDS: 65 lbs, 53 inches high. Conceived in September, born in May or June. Gay Pride day?
Skin: white, light brown hair. Blue eyes – he got these from
Ben.
Posture: Normal for a kid, he’s skinny.
Appearance: He looks like Ben would as a kid. Cute but also an every kid sort of look.
Defects: cowlick
Heredity: Half American, half South African, Dutch. Generic
White Kid.
Social background:
Class: He’s part of a struggling family. But gets lots of help from Ben and Jake. Glenda doesn’t always do well with money and her income can be sporadic.
Occupation: he’s a kid in grade school. The Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy in San Francisco.
Education: see above
Home Life: Let’s say precarious. He lives in a one bedroom apt with his mother. He sleeps in the living room, in an alcove she made up just to be his room. They curtained off a bay window area, so he has a view and light. It’s a beautiful San Francisco view, not Tenderloin; let’s say she moved to The Haight. The apartment is: On Steiner Street at Waller in the Lower Haight. 210 Steiner St. Yellow building, 4 story, 1 bedroom apartment with a big bay window which is curtained off and made up as Logan’s Room, facing west.
Race/Nationality: White, Irish, German, Dutch
Place in Community: He’s a kid in school, he’s medium
popular, ok at sports but not spectacular, a good student, plays video games.
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Politics: none
Amusements, hobbies: video games, is a fan of the SF teams, the Giants, the 49ers. Has some swag from those teams (a backpack).
Sex Life, Moral Standards: he’s a good kid. Likely straight. Ben is agonized that the kid shows no signs of impending queerness.
Personality Aspects:
His personal premise: he wants to “write code.” He only says that because he hears that constantly in the midst of SF’s tech boom. This horrifies Glenda, horrifies Jake. Maybe Ben thinks maybe the kid will strike it rich and support them all in their old age. It’s all undecided.
Frustration, disappointments: He’s better at math than at English.
Temperament: Like all kids these days, he has trouble
focusing and on attention to things. A bit scattered, ADHD.
Attitude toward life: Happy kid. Wished he had a live-in Dad. Knows many gay women for a kid.
Complexes: Not an extrovert or an introvert. He can speak
up, speak his mind.
Abilities: Won spelling bee two years in a row. Ben is very
proud of this, being in marketing and all.
Qualities: he’s affectionate and he smiles a lot. Likes cats. – his one lesbian trait. Still hasn’t gotten one of his own.
IQ: very high.
How Working Biography Was Used
Some of this working biography I used; much I did not. It’s best thought of as a go-to resource when a question comes up, such as: What does he like to eat? What does he play with? What (if anything) does he like in school?
I’ve always thought of myself as knowledgable about children and what they’re like. That’s mostly from my own upbringing as second oldest in a family of eight kids. However, my childhood and teen years were a long, long time ago now. I’ve never had children of my own. So a lot of this is vicarious observation of nieces and nephews and friends’ kids, along with random behaviors I might observe out in the world. In a word, imperfect. Hopefully, it was good enough to seem real.
One of the major backstory elements in my novel “Benefits” is the fact that the main character, Ben Schmidt, is a prostate cancer survivor.
“Benefits” is a sequel to my first novel “Benediction.” (Although I don’t think it’s required reading to understand “Benefits,” I’m sure it helps.) That first novel was written as a way for me to process what was going on with my body. Indeed, I am a prostate cancer survivor myself.
Why “Benediction”
I’d written creatively prior to the novels — but the fiction was limited to movie and TV scripts. I didn’t think my cancer story lent itself to those forms. Hence, “Benediction.” The action in that novel is primarily the story of Ben Schmidt working his way through prostate cancer treatment. Of course, there’s a few side plots involving sex, work intrigue, family relationships, and what not. Did I mention there was sex?
“Benediction” on display before a reading at the (now gone) Different Light Bookstore on Castro Street in San Francisco.
Why “Benefits”
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Sex and lots of it. Because I like it and also because that’s one of the things that changes a lot for men post-prostate cancer. Thus, while “Benediction” took Ben through diagnosis and treatment of his cancer, “Benefits” follows Ben in the aftermath. As in: what is it like to live with the long-term effects of incontinence and ED (erectile dysfunction)?
So in “Benefits,” these side effects are just ongoing parts of Ben’s persona. They’re the things he deals with every day. Should he drop an erectile dysfunction pill in his pocket just in case the opportunity for sex presents itself? Will he be doing something sufficiently physical (working out, walking a lot or standing for a long time, etc.)? Stuffing a thin incontinence pad in his underwear might be a really good idea.
Those are just two of the realities former prostate cancer patients endure. In presenting a character that has this history, I hoped to enlighten those who are unaware as well as acknowledge those of us who live as prostate cancer survivors.
The hero of “Benefits” is a prostate cancer survivor. But heck, it’s mostly a comedy!
Dallas Burdette was a character who originally appeared in my novel “Benediction,” the precursor to “Benefits.”
No soul, No civility: No Service. The type of establishment where Ben met Dallas in “Benediction.”
Working Biography of Dallas
The working biography of Dallas was not an extensive bio. In fact, it’s just a couple of paragraphs:
Dirty Pink Panty Girl – (Carrie) high class sex worker at the Slog – Carrie’s short, like 5-5, long brown hair, almond-shaped brown eyes – she’s pretty, but she’s nothing to write home about. She has some freckles on her arms and her upper chest that are usually visible. She uses make-up most of the time to hide any that are on her face. Carrie has nice breasts. How old? Carrie’s late twenties. But worldly. Thinking Mary Louise Parker when I write her.
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Margaret’s work – Cole Valley. A vitamin and supplement store where they also make juices. Her job is as a salesgirl and a juice maker. The owner of the store is DALLAS. It’s bankrolled by her rich Pacific Heights boyfriend. Dallas needs a last name – even though she only goes by Dallas, everyone knows her that way. BURDETTE. Dallas Burdette is her name. Store needs a name: Clean Up
When looking up the original working biography for this character, I discovered that I’d named her “Carrie.”
A Character Evolves
Obviously, I changed the name to Dallas. I don’t really remember why, but I suspect it was because there’s a main character named “Karen” in “Benediction” (as well as “Benefits”). The soundalike confusion would have been too much.
“Dallas” was a case of an afterthought becoming more important the more I wrote about her. Originally, she was a girl who tempted sober Ben with drinks and drugs (and succeeded). Then, she became a sort-of confidante. Later, she became an actress in one of his movies. In “Benefits,” with her rich boyfriend’s assistance, she became an entrepreneur. She hired Ben’s mom. At some point will obviously tempt Mom with something yet to be imagined. Hence, she needed more of a working biography, which continues in process.
Street image in Cole Valley, San Francisco, where Dallas Burdette’s fictional store Clean Up is located.
As a self-published author, it’s not only the story inside the book that comes from me. It’s literally everything about the product. Thus, a number of variables had to be considered when choosing a book cover for “Benefits.”
One consideration is color. Not only the color itself, but choice between color or a black & white image. While red remains the best color to catch the eye (hello, stop signs) this cover’s closest approximation would be variations on that, heading into orange territory.
Content of Cover Image
The actual content of the image also plays a significant factor in choosing a book cover. This image is a sidewalk scene on Cole Street in San Francisco. The fictional story in the book takes place in San Francisco, and there are a few scenes in this particular neighborhood, Cole Valley. I felt it was accurate in that sense. Also, it shows some iconic San Francisco-style architecture (bay windows and early 20th century detail), so that it’s fairly obvious what city we’re in. That’s intentional.
Sales Venue for “Benefits”
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Another consideration in choosing a book cover in this digital era is the sales venue. For most self-published books, the online market is really where it’s happening, not in brick and mortar bookstores (unfortunate, but that’s the way it is). So, whatever image you choose must draw the eye on a computer or phone screen, sometimes in a field of many other similar-sized book covers. That’s where a striking image or a color that pops (again, red!) really helps you.
I think the cover I chose for “Benefits” is mid-range in that regard. The image is interesting, but it’s not a hot naked body (it’s true, sex really sells). The awning color attracts the eye, yet it’s not a fire engine.
Cost of “Benefits” Book Cover
For self-publishers, cost is a huge factor. The cost of everything, from having your manuscript professionally edited (typically my highest cost over the course of the four books I’ve published so far) to buying photography or rights to an image for the cover must be considered. So, I took the picture myself and cropped it so that there’s no identifiable faces in the image.
So, basically, the cost of the cover for “Benefits” were my travel costs for a couple of days in San Francisco (I live in Los Angeles). One way was award jet travel, and I had a free place to stay (thank you, cousin Mary). Plus, I not only shot the cover image. I shot video for the “Benefits” book trailer and probably 100 other images to use for publicity purposes.
When you self publish, every day and every dollar counts. I’ve learned this the hard way!
In “Benefits,” main character Ben’s partner Jake is caught fooling around with Tony Ochoa, who Ben recognizes as someone he’s seen in his work neighborhood! A younger man – thus, I had to concoct a working biography for Tony Ochoa.
What You Use a Character Biography For
A novel working biography is used as a resource for character development. The process I’ve used over and over again is to answer a series of questions about the character. Include as many facets of the fictitious person that you can – physical, emotional, psychological, practical and so on. Figure out their tastes, hobbies, loves and hates. The novelist won’t use all of a working biography – but it’s there to draw from down the line. It can help provide an answer to the question “What would Mr. X do in this situation?” Invaluable, because that question keeps popping up throughout a story.
SWEATER BOY, aka ANTONIO (TONY) OCHOA. Tony Ochoa. So, he’s Latino.
Sex: Male Age: 28 Height and Weight: 5-10. 175 or so.
Skin: light brown. Hair – black. Eyes: brown
Posture: lanky, slim. Body hair? Yes, some, very dark.
Appearance: He’s actually kind of slender. He looks young,
maybe even younger than 28.
Defects: No defects, but I’m thinking that he has tattoos
that he might regret, that might have been done in college under the influence.
He wouldn’t regret them, tho. He has a rose on his ass.
Heredity: His father is from Mexico. His mother is from Puerto Rico. He was born in the U.S., in the Bay Area – say east bay, city of Alameda.
Class: He’s middle class now, he has a tech job.
More details . . .
Occupation: He has a tech job at a startup in SF that makes
apps for financial concerns.
Education: BS, San Francisco State University
Home Life: starts out by living with some roommates in the Mission. It’s a bunch of people since the rent is so high. It’s a 3 bedroom type railroad flat, 15th and Capp in the Mission. He has 1 male and 1 Female roommate.
Race/Nationality: Latino, Mexican and Puerto Rican heritage.
Place in Community: He’s not involved politically yet, too
young. He wonders what all that is about, though. There may be some nascent
leanings.
Politics: votes Democratic. (because that’s what everybody
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Amusements, hobbies: He does play some video games. He likes
older guys! So he looks for them where they hang out.
Some hobbies – he likes going out to Ocean Beach. Plays an
instrument – the guitar. But not well. He tries to play Spanish guitar. (like
flamenco?) He has taken lessons, maybe he still does.
And the personal, very personal . . .
Sex Life, Moral Standards: he’s gay, has been around quite a
bit. First experience was with an older guy and he’s just stayed there. With
that group. He’s versatile, but likes to top more. Unlike Ben or Jake, he did
start out living a “straight” life.
His personal premise: He wanted to find a husband, so he was
surprised when he found 2. He’s probably more conventional than either Ben or
Jake in that he wants a solid home life.
Frustration,
disappointments:
Temperament: Somewhere between Jake (who’s very chill) and
Ben (who is very dramatic) – so generally easygoing, but he’s deep and you
can’t always read him.
Attitude toward life: an optimist, rather than a pessimist,
and this is one of the main things that attracts Ben and Jake to him. He’s fun. Definitely has quirks of youth and
his specific generation that Ben and Jake don’t/or no longer possess.
Complexes: He doesn’t like cats. Some minor symptoms of OCD
– like closing open drawers and cabinets, other “checking” type stuff. Afraid
of fire, always checks stove before leaving and unplugs appliances, the small
ones.
Abilities: there’s
the guitar. He might be handy – that is something Jake in particular would feel
comfortable with. Can fix minor things. Would make him handy around the house.
Qualities: kind to kids – Logan in particular will love him.
He might giggle. LOGAN might like him more than he likes either Jake or Ben.
IQ: high.
Photo Inspiration for Tony Ochoa
Here’s a few random images of guys (stolen from you, the Internet!) that I think of when I dreamt of Tony Ochoa. Plus, it’s fun to look at pictures of cute Latino-looking guys and beardos, is it not?
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