Category Archives: Personal Interest

things that interest me in the off- and on-hours

Fresh & Easy, We Hardly Knew Ye

I was dismayed to read this story about Fresh & Easy throwing in the towel after their experiment in the U.S., even though it’s been expected for awhile. I know they had a few stores in Los Angeles, but none of them were close to where I lived.

a Fresh & Easy, but not the one in PS. Flickr photo by jim61773.

However — in Palm Springs, Fresh & Easy was my main go-t0 place for food! When I was out there this January working for the Palm Springs International Film Festival, I probably stopped in every day for lunch and other food purchases. I will miss them.

Here’s My Top Five Reasons to Love Fresh & Easy!

They have a special section to sell nicely-discounted perfectly good “expired” food. Easy to find, cause everyone in the store is huddled there. I would find great deals every day. Most big chains don’t have these sections, or, the only ones I’ve seen are for baked goods.

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Mac ‘n Cheese! They always have several varieties of mac ‘n cheese or other decadent pasta with cheesy alfredo-type sauces. All you have to do is microwave! So nice for those chilly wintertime desert evenings. Yummm.
Pre-washed, pre-cut, pre-packaged fruits and veggies in small quantities! Don’t know about you, but it’s a whole lot easier for me to pony up to my daily requirements for fruits and veggies if someone makes it easy, like washing it, peeling it, and generally getting it ready just to pop in the pie hole. Makes a healthy habit much, much easier. OK, I admit it, I’m lazy. But totally, that’s “fresh & easy!”
They have just a little bit of everything you might want, but not “30 brands of mustard” you have to decide on. I mean, really? You want some caesar dressing, let’s say. Do you really need a choice of 15 varieties on 3 shelves? How about some cleanser for the sink? Same thing. Makes the choice – and your time in the store – much simpler and faster.
Finally, mozzarella and tomato and basil sandwiches all wrapped up and ready to go! So healthy and fresh. And, makes me think I’m France or Italy for a split second. OK, maybe it doesn’t, with the dead sagebrush blowing around outside, but the fantasy is nice.

RIP, Fresh & Easy. I’ll miss you.

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The Beautiful World

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Perspective: Koreatown slayings, meningitis deaths – remember them all

Just wanted to update this today (9/23/21), about 8.5 years after I published the original story, which was really about how white privilege dictates what we see around societal violence and other misfortunes (such as illness) – though I didn’t have that language then, even though I recognized the operative theory. Over the past week, much has been made of “missing white woman” syndrome in the case of murdered Gabby Petito. And it’s not just white women, it’s also white men – who, as victims, are covered more than people of other races/backgrounds. This quite from a story today in CNN.com by Holly Thomas:

“Perhaps one of the most painful reasons stories about pretty young White women seem to capture the public imagination so completely is the subconscious prejudice that bad things aren’t “meant” to happen to privileged people. Safety is one of the aspirational perks of having an apparently perfect life. Well-off White people can generally assume that when they call the police, law enforcement will automatically be on their side and want to help them. But this level of support is far from a universal given, and far too often a function of racial privilege.”

Again, I want to emphasize that what happened to Sam and Bret are tragedies, and they deserve to be covered as much as anyone who experiences a similar crime or misfortune. But I do wonder if these stories would have been written at all if they both weren’t white and privileged.

Original Post about Sam Michel and Bret Shaad

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I was touched by this Sam Michel murder story, which I saw just by accident in The Los Angeles Times over the weekend. I was struck by a couple of things beyond the mere horror – and maybe the complacency by which we accept such things as the hazard of living in the big, bad city.

First of all, it was the location of the murder, the Sir Francis Drake apartments on Serrano in Koreatown. This building is managed/owned by the Swel Group, and I’ve looked at many of their properties when searching for K-town apartments both in 2011 and also again very recently. The Sir Francis Drake is an amazing, beautiful building — hands down, it had the largest and probably nicest studios of any building in the Swel Group list. I almost moved into the building in summer of 2011 but found a larger (and cheaper) apartment elsewhere.

My quite recent inquiries into vacancies there were not responded to – don’t know if it had anything to do with this notoriety or not, but I was blissfully unaware of the murder.

The other thing that struck me about this sad story was Sam Michel’s love of Griffith Park, something I share and have since I was in my 20s. So that could’ve been me many years ago, or so many people I’ve known who come to L.A. to create their artistic life.

Our family recently lost someone about Sam’s age to a violent death (suicide, not murder) so I know somewhat of what this family is going through. I also hope someone with information comes forward to collect the newly-upped reward ($100,000) and that the person who did this gets caught.

One of the early reports of this murder in the Times also says that there’ve been 35 murders in Koreatown since 2007. I wonder how many of those have gone unsolved?

Interesting that this particular death, this unsolved murder is the one that’s focused on – and why is that, as there are so many unsolved murders in the city? Certainly his family is not going to let the matter drop, and they shouldn’t. But there’s also a facility with social media and press access that comes with education and class.

Continue reading →

Please make it stop: Five Most Overrated Exercises You Can Stop Doing Now

Well, you looked.

I really did enjoy this little piece on the Five Most Overrated Exercises — usually with things like this I feel there’s not much good information on weight training, but this one is spot on.

Maybe we’ll see an end to people doing those odd static plank positions in the gym – which I only remember seeing fairly recently (perhaps creeping out of the yoga studio?).

I’ve known for a long time that quad extensions weren’t the best exercise, that they are non-effective as well as bad for your knees so it’s nice to get some validation on that. Also with the traditional crunch – I don’t know about you, but after 30 years of doing these, it feels like abs-olutely nothing is going on down there! Best to make the movement more challenging.

As the article says, you can injure your shoulders doing bench presses from the same flat angle all the time. I’ve done that. I’ve also noticed most people doing hanging exercises of any kind have really bad form. Isn’t it great to know we no longer have to concern ourselves with these? What do you think?

Some local fitness links I like:

InYoga Studio (Valley Village)

Gold’s Gym Hollywood

Bodybuilder’s Gym (Silver Lake)

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10 reasons to salute L.A.s transportation future — liveable city, here we come

Meredith Portnoff and Jim Arnold (Jimbolaya) in front of City Hall at CicLAvia 2012.

As I embark on my second car-free experiment – or maybe it’s car-light, seeing that I am driving to Santa Monica for some work-related meetings during it – it was heartening to see the Los Angeles Times put this slide show together on reasons to love L.A.’s promising transportation future.

I especially love the shout out for Union Station. Every time I’m walking down those halls I wish I had on my fedora and a nice broad shouldered double breasted suit – or some nice open-toed pumps, depending on the day. But I digress.

As for my car-free experiment, it’s a place in life I’ve been leaning to for quite a while. I actually have convinced myself that it’s perfectly reasonable to live the life I currently lead in Los Angeles without owning a car, and I’ve proved it on several previous car-free periods.

It’s cutting that cord finally (which would mean selling the car) which I haven’t quite been able to do.

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L.A. transport has certainly come a long way from the days when I first lived in the city, where the unreliable buses were part of the Southern California RTD (rapid transit district, or reason to drink, you take your pick). Since then, among other improvements, Metro has built subways and light rail, with more on the way, started their Metro Rapid bus routes, the Orange and Silver Line busways, etc. Although Angelenos will have a hard time believing it, our city has mass transit coverage right up there with New York and San Francisco.

Add to that walking, biking and the occasional cab, and it’s actually an option. I suppose it helps having grown up riding the bus, walking and biking. Those things I still do! Sometime in 2013, definitely.

Find the Walkscore where you live.

The piano junkyard

For President’s Day — not that there’s a relation to Washington or Lincoln that I’m immediately aware of. I never knew what happened to unwanted musical instruments. Here’s a helpful New York Times video. . .

I have a piano in my home, it’s probably the largest thing in it – maybe the bed is larger, but certainly that doesn’t have as much impact. And it’s revered.

My Wyman piano

I’m a recreational player, and that comes in waves. What I mean by that is that I’m a creature of habit, and when the habit’s going strong, I’m playing for a bit every day, when I’m reasonably sure most of the denizens of Broken Arms (the apartment building I live in) have gone off to work or school or whatnot.

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And I get better, I do notice the dexterity returns somewhat, certain pieces I work at get better sounding. Then, for some unknown reason, I stop practicing. And I have to get myself going to start the process once again. Then I remember how much I love piano music.

I’ve moved this piano (when changing residences) at least three times now, which requires a separate company and special care. I’ve wondered if it’s worth it; there’ve been new scratches each time. But when I hear the sounds it can be capable of, I don’t doubt my decision to get it, and keep it.

Dennis Bogorad: Finding Support, Gay Men with Prostate Cancer *

Congrats to friend Dennis Bogorad for writing this great piece for Huffington Post (Dennis Bogorad: Finding Support). *

As a prostate cancer survivor, I can attest to the simple fact that a PSA test did indeed save my life. Prostate cancer runs in my family; I had it in my mid-forties (very early for this kind of cancer) and one of my younger brothers has unfortunately followed in my footsteps, so to speak. If I hadn’t had that test at 46, my doctor probably wouldn’t have ordered one until age 50, at which point it might have well been too late. Once prostate cancer metastasizes, it’s incurable.

With the proper treatment, which, in my case included surgery for prostate removal followed by two months of external beam radiation, I’ve now been (knock on wood) cancer-free for over ten years.

Also in my case, there was a support group for gay men with prostate cancer in San Francisco, where I lived at the time. Going to those bi-weekly meetings over the course of about a year was crucial for me to get a sense of how my recovery was progressing, as well as for firmly understanding that I was not alone — the sense of which can be absolutely crushing.

Prostate cancer is awful and people don’t want to talk about it. Even totally successful treatment for the disease often involves various levels of erectile dysfunction and incontinence that can linger for years or forever. It’s not a shock that no one wants to think about it – believe me, especially those of us who’ve had it.

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As more of us “come out” about these aspects of our lives, one can only assume that the quality of our recovery will improve, as well as be an example for the world at large in discussing male cancers.

That simple blood test, once a year. PSA.

Oh, and by the way, I wrote a novel very loosely based on my experiences of that time. You can find out more about “Benediction” here.

* UPDATE March 26, 2013 – Very sad to report that Dennis unexpectedly passed away in his sleep on March 24. I’m honored to have known him and to have been a part of the important work he was doing around gay men’s health issues.

The Strange Case of Assumed Heterosexuality in Background Actor Work

a quick self-pic requested of me awhile back for a stand-in role; alas, I was not chosen.

The blogger taking a quick self-pic requested awhile back for a
stand-in role; alas, I was not chosen.

Yet again the other day I did a background actor (aka “extra”) job on an enormous hit show (which I won’t mention because I’ll never work in this town again if I do).

And yet once again when I was there on set I was paired with a nice older lady who’d be my “wife” for the day.

This has happened (this kind of pairing) on numerous jobs. The expectation that you’d be part of a heterosexual couple. And along with that, the implicit denial that there’d ever be homosexual couples (as in, it would be just as easy for the AD troops to pair up same-sex extras as it is to pair up opposite-sex ones) in the background of any scene.

I can’t really blame the often famous and lavishly decorated writers/producers/creators of these shows, who often may even have significant LGBT characters or romances in the principal storylines.

It’s usually the ADs (assistant directors) who devise the background blocking, if any, and put the extras at their locations in the set and give them actions to do. Most of these are guys (some women too, but mostly men) in their 20s who probably can work 18 hours straight without complaining; perhaps these pairings are the most expeditious or what they think their bosses would want. Surely, say, if the “location” were a hospital emergency room waiting area, there’d be groupings of all varieties, including gay couples or families.
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Right? I still remember my favorite remark during pairing-up, when on one show I was coupled with a nice looking woman about half my age. “You got a young one,” this (older) lady said to me, with a sly, heavily mascara’d wink. You’re right, honey, I did! Next time, let’s try a young guy with dark eyes and some stubble. Then we’d be talking.

Links for those who want to do this:

Central Casting

Commercial Extras

What I’m Reading, Watching, Thinking #3

What I’m reading, watching, thinking: an insight into the Arnold brainwork. This is number three of an occasional series.

Reading: David Foster Wallace. Hadn’t ever read anything of his before, so I thought I’d start with non-fiction, his book of essays “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which is also the title of the main essay in the book, his take on a Caribbean cruise (taken in the mid-90s).

I was led to the piece by another essay on cruising (the big ship variety, not the gay variety) which I think may have been in Salon.com. Long story short – I did enjoy the essay tremendously. It’s extremely thorough, in the sense that I totally feel I know what going on a cruise would be like in most any aspect you can think of. The essay is also hysterically funny, and the writer makes fantastic use of his own neuroses for the delight of the reader (warning: copious footnotes!). I found it accessible as well, and I do admit to not reading every essay in the book. There’s also a famous one in there on television and its impact on fiction writing. Foster’s thesis is that TV’s had a profound effect on postmodern fiction, but the essay itself I found very hard to follow. Number one, it was written in 1990 so it’s dated (I, for instance, would love to hear Wallace’s take on the internet or its aspects like YouTube or Facebook… or blogs), but also I just found it really, really dense. (And you know, maybe I’m just not smart enough for it, that’s also a distinct possibility).

By the time I was done with that essay wouldn’t you know it but the library wanted the book back. So I didn’t get to read the other essays in the book, some of them on tennis, which interests me . . . not at all. Then again, I really did pick it up for the cruising essay, and I was not disappointed.

I’m kind of fascinated with Wallace ’cause he killed himself a couple of years ago. There were no answers to that in his prose from the 1990s.

Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper in “Silver Linings Playbook”

What I’m Watching: Really, lots of stuff since last report. More on the award hopefuls – I did see Silver Linings Playbook, as well as a few selections from the Palm Springs International Film Festival (see this previous post). Waiting for the second part of the final season of Breaking Bad, and for Downton Abbey, a veritable feast for diva-loving homosexuals (such as myself) and others. I’m hoping the plot of Downton improves from the second season, which I found very soap-opery. From everything I’ve read so far on the season that seems to be the case. And how can the addition of Shirley MacLaine be anything but positive?

Quick thoughts on Silver Linings Playbook:

most enjoyable Robert DeNiro movie in a long time.
Yes, I can see what the fuss is all about, Jennifer Lawrence!
Bradley Cooper should be contractually obligated to remove shirt in all movies he makes.
It was like sugar in many ways, you got high really quickly but there was nothing lingering, except maybe a headache.
If only mental illness was such a cakewalk! Still, I did enjoy the fantasy of putting all this pain into a strictly ballroomy rom-com.
Thank the Universe it wasn’t “I Heart Huckabees.” I didn’t walk out, but I know people who did.

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What I’m Thinking:

Self-censorship on the blog: I thought, a while back, that since I was looking for employment, it would be wise to try and keep it clean, to keep it as non-political as possible, to not have too strong a viewpoint on anything. Well, I was wrong. Playing it safe did not get me a job, although I’m not sure really being out there would have garnered one either. But basically, playing it safe is just really boring. People want to read strong opinions even if they don’t agree. So I made a mistake with that idea. Henceforth, I’m going to try and be the best “Jim” I can be, whatever that turns out to be. But no trying to anticipate audience reaction.

Politics: Yeah, thrilled that BHO won the second term, but I’m still really, really unhappy that Gitmo is still open, and even less happy with the Drone program. Is it only a matter of time before the Drones police us? Or are they already here?

Jobs: I’ll be doing less background acting this year, as there’s too huge an opportunity cost you must pay to do that kind of work. I would be served better by looking for more lucrative things or even using the time for self-care, at least at this point. Of course, the day after I decide this and end my relationship with the calling service, I’m booked on Mad Men! Go figure.

NOLA sabbatical coming up: I’ve accepted an invitation from my sister and brother-in-law to spend a month in New Orleans (May) to get an actual idea of what it might be like, in some parallel universe, to live there.

Palm Springs Film Fest 2013 – What I Saw!

Three films I saw at the Palm Springs International Film Festival 2013 with gay male-related content – and my short reactions to them!** There are mild spoilers. Pls. don’t read if you don’t want to be informed.

I Do

[youtube]http://youtu.be/HzJKp-BX4oo[/youtube]

“I Do” poses the question about what an attractive gay man must do if he’s to stay in the U.S. and get his green card once his visa extension has been denied. An interesting set-up where the man in question, Jack, (David W. Ross) has also been helping a female relative raise a young girl, which is given as the main reason he wants to stay in New York. (Honestly, thoughout the film, I’m thinking, who really would want to stay in such a hateful country with such antiquated rules and with no acknowledgment of GLBT relationships, etc., but I digress – but honey, I would be on the first plane out.)

So Jack marries his lesbian pal (Jamie-Lynn Sigler) who you know best as Meadow Soprano and less best as Turtle’s girlfriend in a season or two of Entourage. Needless to say, there are complications, not the least of which is the appearance of a serious but Euro-handsome Spaniard named Mano. So Jack is left to make some pretty important decisions about his future, and along with “Any Day Now” (below) I think the filmmaker Glenn Gaylord (and Ross as the writer) made the less obvious choice, and I like that. Also, of the three movies, Jack has the least gay-stereotypical day job, in that he’s a hardworking photo-assistant type who longs to be a photographer in his own right, as opposed to (see below) working in a porno shop (Beyond the Walls) or being a drag performer (Any Day Now).

Beyond the Walls

[youtube]http://youtu.be/yT94GR_sYNQ[/youtube]

Okay, I’ve lived this movie. Not literally, but I’ve sure been the one who, at the beginning of a relationship, is not terribly interested, then becomes totally invested once the object of affection moves on. This film, about two gay men in Paris (Matila Malliarakis, Guillaume Gouix) by David Lambert felt real to me. I mean that in the sense that it was authentically about gay male relationships as I’ve known them throughout my life. From the instant, alcohol-fueled attraction, through the fantasmagorical lust phase, through the settling out of whether or not there is actually going to be a possibility of something lasting. To be honest, I really enjoyed that the younger character (Guillaume) seemed to want an older partner (hello, daddy!). Specifics are unique to this film and not my life, thank goodness, as they involve prison and drugs and melted candle wax (ouch). Well worth seeing, I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did. And, of course, it’s set in Paris, which gives it some at-the-outset romance.

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Any Day Now

[youtube]http://youtu.be/7ghwGOuuNy0[/youtube]

Honestly, I do believe that 50-75% of straight America must think that all gay men possess this marvelous knack for dresses, makeup and drag performing – if the characters you see in gay movie after gay movie are to be believed! I don’t have that talent, but I do know some men in L.A. who do – but out of literally hundreds of acquaintances, I could probably count this bunch on one hand.

Okay. But we do know colorful, feisty characters are good for movies, and so it is with “Any Day Now,” where Alan Cumming plays the aforementioned Rudy. He’s hooked it up with idealistic lawyer Garret Dillahunt, and together they embark on a journey to adopt a neighbor boy with Down’s Syndrome, a boy (Marco) who’s abused by his drug addict mother and her male friends.

I found the movie (which is a period piece set in the late 1970s) tremendously entertaining, the set-up guaranteed to pull at your heartstrings, and I do give credit to the filmmaker Travis Fine who took us in some very unexpected directions.

** what, no snarky comments about these movies? What’s happened to you? Well, full disclosure, I work a temp gig with the Festival, so thought I’d not bite the hand that feeds. Plus, I have nothing but happy things to say about these 3 films. So STFU.