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Visiting NOLA as a Sober Gay Man

Despite its well-deserved reputation as a party town, I’ve never imbibed in New Orleans. I first visited the wonderful southern city in 1996 (as part of my journey in Wanderslut 1996: A Gay Road Trip Across America). I was living six years as a sober gay man by that time.

Blogger Jim Arnold eating shaved ice at famous Hansen's in NOLA. Sober gay man activity!
The blogger with some famous shaved ice at Hansen’s.

Mindset

When sober, you have to think of the other attributes of a place (other than the tourist stereotype) to focus on. In New Orleans, for me anyway, (on my first few visits at least), that fact that it had chops as a gay-friendly place — The French Quarter, anyway — that was a major attraction.

Old NOLA houses to illustrate a blog entry in Jimbolaya, Jim Arnold's blog.
I liked these frilly porches I found on one of my bike rides in NOLA.

Beyond that particular carrot, I think that your interests (as a sober gay man) expand after achieving sobriety since that kind of wild partying is no longer an option. You gravitate toward long dormant, or new interests – which for me include things like history, architecture and building history, music, food, nature and of course, my family.

Photo of coffeehouse Rue de La Course, in New Orleans, to illustrate author Jim Arnold's blog post about New Orleans.
Rue de la Course, a coffeehouse in an old bank building in Uptown, where I’d sometimes go to write.

Things I Did for Fun

The gay stuff: New Orleans has/had a ton of gay bars, most located in the French Quarter around Bourbon Street. I more or less did the requisite “stop in” but to be honest, there seemed to be such an emphasis on getting that drunk buzz that I felt uncomfortable and had to leave.

I had much more fun at the Club New Orleans baths (detailed in my book Wanderslut 1996) which, unfortunately, is closed now. Four floors of sober gay fun in an ancient building a block or so from the Mississippi! It did, at least for me, have a lot of answers to carnal dreams. I was sad to see it close. Every time I visit I hope I’ll find that some entrepreneur has opened a new bathhouse. The hook-up apps have ruined a lot of IRL gay culture – this was just another casualty.

Author Jim Arnold on the St. Charles streetcar in New Orleans, LA, illustrating his blog post on what it's like to be a sober gay man visiting NOLA.
The blogger on the St. Charles streetcar.
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NOLA was not all about sex, of course. There’s music – I went to Jazz Fest (usually late April every year) a couple of times, and also to clubs to hear live bands. I really love New Orleans style piano, so if Jon Cleary is playing while I’m visiting, I do try to go.

The sightseeing/history piece: New Orleans and the surrounding area is nothing if not historical. On that first trip in ’96 I did walking tours in the city, the Quarter and Garden District, etc. Later on, and especially once I had family living there, we’d go farther afield — to a Plantation Tour on the old River Road, a Swamp Tour on the Pearl River in nearby Mississippi.

Photo of a plantation slave quarters to illustrate Jim Arnold's blog entry about visiting New Orleans.
This shack is a slave quarters at one of the plantations I toured. (Laura Plantation)

The Spring after Katrina, my sister (who by now lived in NOLA) took me on what she dubbed the Katrina Tour of Destruction, which pretty much describes seeing the remnants of that terrible storm.

Lived There for a Month

In late 2012, I wrote a post titled “Is It Time to Consider Leaving Los Angeles?” — which my sister saw. She then invited me to spend some time with them to “try living in New Orleans” as a sober gay man for a month.

So I did, l lived there for a month in spring, 2013 – to see if I wanted to move there. What did I do? Write, exercise, spend time with family, see some music events, bicycle, went to a couple of recovery meetings, maybe cooked dinner, restaurants, a bit of sightseeing, even a trip or two to the baths. Tried to do pretty much what I would do at home in L.A. if I was there.

Photo of Jacques Restaurant in Uptown, New Orleans, from blogger Jim Arnold.
A restaurant on Oak Street in Uptown.

In the end, I decided against a move — but that, as they say, was then. I’ve never closed the door completely on that idea. It’s a fascinating place!

Photo of old oak with Spanish Moss in Audubon Park, New Orleans, to illustrate blogger Jim Arnold's entry on NOLA.
An old oak with Spanish Moss in Audubon Park, New Orleans.
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