My obsession over working in Hollywood began when I was a kid. We were a family in love with the movies. My father, a film scholar and critic, wrote about them and taught them. As kids, we went to double features (that was still a thing in the 1960s) on Saturdays for as long as I could remember. Oscar Night was treated with the same reverence as any Catholic Holy Day of Obligation.

The impetus for my road trip chronicled in Wanderslut 1996 was a layoff from a Hollywood job. At the time, it seemed like the end of the world.

It was the reason I moved to Los Angeles. Officially it was for film school, but that was really just a ruse to find a job in the business. And find it I did.

The job I lost was as a Communications Manager (public relations function) at one of the Big Studios. About a year later I traded up and went to work for a well-known entertainment technology company as PR Director. I’d call this Hollywood-Adjacent, though the company had its influence everywhere in this small town.

I eventually left that company for personal reasons (cancer and its existential aftermath!). After that, I worked sporadically as a background actor (read “extra”).

But the obsession I’d had over working in Hollywood was gone. I think these are among the key reasons:

Hollywood Treats You Like Shit

No, really, they do. They can – or at least they can get away with it – because there’s a line of 500 young aspirants waiting around the corner for you. Just waiting for you to abandon your job so they can take it.

Just like me, other movie obsessed people from around the world who had the same dream and moved to LA.

Even though I did end up working for a couple of “screamers,” as they’re affectionately known, I wasn’t ever abused physically or sexually, as so many were. It was more like the ghastly lack of support and training. And, at least at the yeoman levels, salaries were mediocre and there was not much chance of advancement anywhere unless you really sucked up or got lucky.

Other Industries Treat You Better

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Specifically, at least for me, the Tech Sector. I worked this job at the intersection of technology and entertainment, and they were heavily influenced (as well as located near) by Silicon Valley and its values.

Which, at least at the time (late 1990s-early 2000s) including loads of inservice training, yearly salary surveys (to make sure you were being paid in line with the location and sector), generous profit sharing and even, in my case and at this company, stock options.

Plus respect – and I’m not sure how to put a price tag on that.

I Aged Out of the Glamour

If you can even call it that – but that is a draw, an attraction, and it does have its day. I met and worked with many “stars.” I went to so many parties in the hills I started yawning at the invites. Somewhere there is a photo of me at a party on a yacht in Cannes harbor.

For me, these things were nice to experience, but ultimately shallow. I was never an extrovert, which really helps if you want to be successful in this milieu. At heart I’m a basically quiet person, and I value solitude and the wilderness much more than I do the glitz and noise (which you get a lot of in entertainment public relations).

One day I woke up and realized I didn’t care about any of it anymore. A chasm then opens up in front of you, demanding an answer to the question, “OK, what’s next?”

(more on that in future posts)