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Actually, I Don’t Want or Need to be CrossFit

Copyright Crossfit Pulse

Copyright: Crossfit Pulse/The only CrossFit WOD you’ll ever see me doing.

and neither do you!

Or, as Susan Powter used to say: Stop the Insanity!

I guess nothing says “maturing” so well as just looking incredulously at new fitness crazes that come, then invariably go.

But I’m indulgent, usually. The key word being usually. In a former life (like, the late 1990s) I was a certified fitness trainer and had a small side business as a personal trainer in Los Angeles. I stopped doing that at the point where I discovered that, while I really liked keeping myself fit and healthy, I had less interest in counting your sit-ups or trying to convince you to eat more apples.

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However, I continue to be greatly influenced by my training to be in that business, however briefly, and have long been an enthusiastic supporter of lifetime fitness activities – basically, exercises/activities you convince large numbers of people to do that they will actually ENJOY and make part of their lives for like, you know, FOREVER.

CrossFit is not one of these activities. A good number of the exercises I’ve seen in the list of CrossFit workouts of the day (WODs) are things contraindicated for many people, perhaps even most people other than the exceptionally fit and young. Among these are what they call burpees (which we learned as squat thrusts in high school), handstand pushups, L-sits, muscle-ups, pull-ups (which I’ve seen done totally incorrectly in the CrossFit videos, using momentum to complete the movement, a total cheat as this exercise is supposed to strengthen the back muscles that actually pull you up), deadlifts, and kettlebell swings. Any and all of these exercises could result in injury – mainly to the back, but also to shoulders and even to abs. And then there’s that awful heavy metal music they do their routines to. . . gag me.

Shouldn’t people do this if they want? Well, sure, of course! If you want to do it, go ahead, knock yourself out. Perhaps literally. But my point is that it’s not something you’re going to be able to do for very long, consistently. This is just not what the body is designed to do and sooner or later it will rebel. I’m also deeply skeptical at the level of fitness you’d acquire by doing these odd exercises, and how that would benefit you.

So what does Smartypants suggest? Get ready, cause it’s really boring, but really good for you and you can do these things forever: walking – what your body is absolutely designed and evolved to do – and it’s free; dancing – fun, think faster walking, usually involving other people, perhaps in very close proximity; and bicycling – perhaps the most efficient form of personal transportation every devised, a great aerobic and strength workout that’s also easy on the joints and, once you buy the bike, cheap. I’d also include yoga in this list, as a yoga practice can be soft or challenging, endlessly adaptable to age, body type, level of energy, etc.

 

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