Dirty Bird! Dirty Birdie. The Closet Unwashed. No matter what you call it, I became one of those who stopped bathing during the pandemic — at least on a regular schedule.

So, naturally I was thrilled to see features here and there that I was not the only one. In fact, I was sharing my (either) lazy or filthy habits with the rich and famous.

The pandemic lockdowns started in March 2020, which is still a winter month. I live in Los Angeles, and this is always strange to admit, but it’s often chilly indoors during the winter because our homes are not built for colder weather.

So in any March, I’m walking around my apartment and not terribly interested in getting naked for any reason, the last of which is usually to take a shower. I’ll admit it, I’m a wuss, and would rather be cozy and warm than squeaky clean. At least in winter.

But also – or should I say butt also – things have changed over the years which I think make my baseline cleanliness stronger. To wit:

I Don’t Work Out Everyday Anymore

Used to be a jogger. Those days are long gone. I don’t even go to the gym every day (and of course during pandemic we could not anyway, since they were closed) so I don’t sweat profusely and constantly like I did in my youth.

I’m Around Fewer People

For years I’ve been a writer, and worked freelance, and then I had a part time job which had only a couple of other employees, who were often not physically close to me. And I live alone. Now I’m mostly retired. So I guess that means there’s fewer people to annoy with whatever B.O. I might exude.

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I Have a Bidet Now

This kind of coincided with the lockdowns in Spring 2020 (and the resulting TP shortage!) though I’d been thinking about it for a while. So I’m clean down there, like cleaner than I’ve ever been in that particular spot and I highly recommend it.

I Don’t Smell Bad

I don’t normally use deodorant and haven’t for years. Reason? Almost always my body does not produce awful odors. At least that I can detect. Would I be able to discern on my own whether or not I was rank? I think so. I hope so. By way of anecdotal evidence, no one has ever told me I stink. (At least not in that sense.) I’m going to assume they would if I did.

Finally, it’s just not necessary to bathe so much, and our daily shower is a modern innovation. For all of human history prior to the intro of indoor plumbing (which has only been around 100-150 years) people did not bathe constantly and somehow survived.

For someone prone to skin disturbances (like psoriasis and other dermatitis-type deals), dry skin — which you get from too much soap and water on you – is something to avoid. I can say that it’s helped me, particularly in the winter months, to have fewer outbreaks.

So what is my showering frequency? There was a point during the worst of the lockdown where I’d actually forget and have to log it in my diary and may have gone a couple of weeks (but no more) without a shower.

Now, I’d say I take a shower for sure once a week, often more, say, if I’m going to have some kind of social encounter. But honestly it’s no more frequent than that.

I don’t pay a separate water bill where I live but once again, California is in severe drought and I’m happy to help in a really small way by being that dirty bird.