Category Archives: Family

A privileged view of a passing comet: lucky and numbered

A week or two after my niece Alma Maleckar Bear died last November, New Orleans writer and poet Chris Sullivan sent me this beautiful poem he had written about his muse. I asked him if I could re-post it here, and he said yes. The title of the poem is “She was like, like itself” – which I love.

There are phrases, though, that really spoke to me of Alma, which I put together above: we were all privileged to have her in our lives, yes; little did we realize how lucky and numbered the days were. Also, I can easily hear her saying “thanks darlin’ come back again.”

So here it is for you. Thank you Chris!

Alma Maleckar Bear

She was like, like itself

You saw those eyes

and wanted to have them around

it is for all seasons,

our liking to sustain a crush,

isn’t it / don’t we?

so he became quite attracted to

daily transactions with his server at the café

she had had an Uncle like me.

now were avuncular a profession

I’m known as a Distinguished Practitioner

of the art, for she was an exhibit

Continue reading →

We Deserve Better video

We Deserve Better from FosterBear Films on Vimeo.

Check out this video made by my nephew-in-law’s company FosterBear Films (David Bear) in association with BreakOUT in New Orleans. The purpose is to fight discrimination on the part of the NOPD towards the GLBTQ community there.

Yes, we still have to fight these fights in 2012. Depressing, but there you are, and unfortunately, for so many minority communities, including GLBTs everywhere, the cop is generally not your friend. Videos like this help put them on notice. We’re watching. We’re talking. We’re filming it and posting it. And it will stop.

Share widely, as you wish.

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St. Roch Cemetery

More photos from New Orleans – in keeping with the purpose of the trip, I guess. Kate and I took some time walking around this city of the dead which was a couple of blocks up St. Roch from where Alma and David lived. (prosthesis gallery? = St. Roch patron of this, according to David. Hence the fake limb museum.)

*Note 11/30/15: for some reason these photos had disappeared from my blog, so reposting them. I was thinking about my niece Alma Maleckar Bear today, as it’s the 4th anniversary of her death in 2011. RIP Alma, still so missed.
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Alma Maleckar Bear, Milwaukee tribute

My brother Bill Arnold sent me two short videos he made yesterday (Sunday, December 18, 2011) of a Lake Michigan-side balloon release in honor of Alma Maleckar Bear, orchestrated by childhood friends of Alma from the East Side of Milwaukee.

Celebrate
earth air water fire
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Girl Bites Dog

a last look

When my mother died several years ago, at the end of the service the priest came down the steps to where her ashes were lying, and said to us all, “this is where we say our final goodbye.” This was the one thing at the funeral which physically shocked me, as in, I had no intention of doing that, I didn’t want to say goodbye, not then, not ever. But after I thought about what he said, in the ensuing weeks and months, I realized the priest was right. Mom had gone on, and it was time for us to live our lives while remembering her.

My niece Alma was at that funeral and read something there. My mother told me once that she felt a special connection to this particular granddaughter, that there was a wavelength on which they communicated that was different from the rest.

I did not know Alma well. For her entire life I lived in California, while she grew up in Milwaukee and New Orleans. There are two stories about her I remember vividly, one told to me and one I witnessed. Continue reading →

Alma Claire Maleckar Bear, Second Line

The Second Line parade for Alma Claire Maleckar Bear began on Friday, December 9th 2011, at sundown. The three mile route went from the 1300 block of St. Roch Avenue:*

in the St. Roch neighborhood, left onto Marais, right on Port St., then a left onto St. Claude Avenue, with a stop at St. Coffee, crossed St. Claude Avenue at St. Ferdinand, then right onto Press Street into the Bywater, a left onto Dauphine, a right on Piety, then right onto Royal with a stop outside Alma’s studio:

After some songs there, we continued along Royal into the Marigny, stopped at Mimi’s for libations and a bathroom break (and for some of us, the coffee across the street), then continued on Royal, left on Esplanade to Decatur and into the French Quarter, where we met up with a cop — who didn’t want the parade to continue (and for which there was indeed a permit). Luckily, we were with a dear friend of my nieces, Molly and Alma — Naomi — who is a lawyer and had no problem getting him to agree to the second line continuation with a slight modification onto the Moon Walk, where we lit candles, scattered some of Alma’s ashes into the Mississippi River and sang.

And shot off fireworks. Continue reading →

Whispers and Sighs: ‘The Music Box’ in New Orleans

‘The Music Box’ in New Orleans is a Sonic Shantytown

Piety, synonyms: respect, veneration, awe.

The day before my niece Alma’s funeral some of us went down to the Music Box installation at the Dithyrambalina on Piety Street in the Bywater section of NOLA.

They let us experiment with the instruments in the various “houses,” including the spiral staircase organ (I actually got up to the top of it), the Balinese hut with the bells on the wall, a little shack with floorboards which would each play a different tone (reminded me of the giant foot-operated piano in “Big”) and a little gazebo which had what looked like a giant wedding dress (that you could sit inside – see photo) lined with bells and other things (keys, etc) that would tinkle and ring when shook. There was also the tiny house which had a stethoscope hanging from the rafter, which you could place against your heart to have the life beat broadcast throughout the yard. This was slightly disconcerting to me, as in, what if there was no sound, what if — it stopped? Yet it also emphasized so clearly that each person who tried it (and we all did) had a unique sound and vibration.

The air was so clear, crisp, and the light so winter.

The drug consists of sildenafil citrate, an ingredient which buying here super levitra helps in smooth blood flow to the male sex organ. Below are those minor adverse reactions of the medication: Mild headache Sleepiness Facial flushing Diarrhea Rashes Stuffy nose Indigestion So, don’t forget to follow the guidelines for treating men with ED already state that they select to stick to this new form. super cialis professional The impacts caused on the health after taking the treatment from the lowest dosage however; https://regencygrandenursing.com/long-term-care/bariatric-care viagra in uk the dosage can be varied to 20mg or 5mg depending upon the chemistry of an individual’s body. Accurate records and evaluations are an important aspect of supplying a client low cost levitra with proper therapeutic exercises. I’d never been to New Orleans in this kind of weather. The group was quiet. Really, what do you do on the day before you bury your wife, your daughter, your sister, your friend?

The installation is also a fine place for musicians to play and experiment, and I see that’s the point of us being there that day, something Alma would have been first in line to do.

View from Piety Street: Whispers behind the wood

Molly, Kate and Faith in the music yard

Taking a picture of a person taking a picture: Naomi focuses while David Bear plays a water organ

view from inside the wedding dress dome: Molly and Morgan

Molly sitting inside the bell dome wedding dress thing.

Another music house

This image on the wall reminded me of Alma Claire Maleckar

Little houses of music in the yard in Bywater

Kimball upright innards forms the wall to this music box

Alma Maleckar Bear

Alma Maleckar Bear, 1985-2011

My beautiful niece Alma died unexpectedly last week. She was 26.

There will be a Funeral Mass this Friday, December 9, 10:00 a.m., at Mater Dolorosa Church, 1228 S. Carrollton Avenue, NOLA 70118.

At sundown on Friday, a second line will begin at the 1300 block of St. Roch Avenue.

For Saturday, December 10: The Jackson Square artists have a 50-year tradition of hanging a wreath in respect and memory of departed artist fellows. Because Alma was so respected and loved, the artists are going one step further by lighting candles in unison at 5:00 p.m. next Saturday, Dec. 10th. The wreath will be hung at the gate on Decatur Street.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
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I am the gentle autumn rain

When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die

— Mary Elizabeth Frye

Alma/David wedding photos by Jim Arnold on Flickr

Movember progress, November 16, 2011

November 16, 2011 stache progress (and new glasses, too!)

Jim’s Movember donation area

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Milwaukee Visit Photos, #2

More Halloween frivolity, and with blond niece #3 (see last post for an explanation of that). These are pix of my youngest brother Bill and his family on trick or treat day, which was yesterday here in Milwaukee. Apparently, the little one didn’t want a costume beyond the chic leopard jacket.

I’ve had a great visit, and tomorrow it’s time to get on the plane back to California.

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Niece Kate with her father, my brother Bill Arnold

(Blond!) niece Kate Arnold with mom Kathy Arnold.

My nephew Kieran Arnold as the Count.