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More Downton Abbey: Matthew’s shocker, then again, you knew it was coming

Dan Stevens

Dan Stevens

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Another Dan Stevens photo

When I first saw the final episode, where new dad, Downton Abbey heir Matthew Crawley (Dan Stevens), dies in a horrible car accident (ah, those long ago days of convertibles without either seat belts or air bags or roll bars or anything like that – can you just imagine all the blood and guts spilled all over the world’s nascent highways) – must admit, I was pretty shocked they’d kill off one of the main characters in the show. And right after, I mean right fracking after, his first child is born.  

Lady Mary was a f.c.* handful when she had her man, can you just imagine what she’s going to be like now?

I suppose, even though we were shown a long, lingering shot of Matthew under said convertible, lifeless eyes open, a trickle of British blood making its way into the verdant moist earth of the colorful English countryside – there’s always the possibility of a TV-style resurrection – he’s not really dead after all, it’s some horrid dream sequence, it was his evil twin all along, that sort of thing.

But we know from the linked article here that the actor is leaving the show. And the creative force behind Downton Abbey, Julian Fellowes, tells us it’s pretty normal in an English series when an actor leaves a show, to kill them off in some horrendous fashion.

Geez, Julian, we’re so not used to that over here!

But it was necessary, wasn’t it? It really had to happen, didn’t it? I mean —

we couldn’t let Matthew get away with being Matthew for much longer.

Especially after innocent Lady Sybil’s demise. Not to mention the convenient death of former fiancee Saint Lavinia to the 1918 flu pandemic.
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I mean, really, have you ever known a TV character to be so blessed by Fortuna? Plucked out of obscurity by being the gazillionth heir to the Downton title and fortune – because the person who was supposed to get it died in the Titanic sinking – or wait, no he didn’t, he was just burnt to un-recognizability but very much still alive (and perhaps coming back in all his horrid scarring to reclaim his mansion and his fortune . . . unlikely).

Matthew gets the girl, loses the girl, finds another girl yet realizes he’s in love with girl #1, the one who has the most money anyway, and then there’s that convenient flu. And let’s not forget about the War. The Great War. Surviving it at all is pretty unlikely, so our poor Matthew is injured, and he’s paralyzed from the waist down. Which also means that nothing down there is working, i.e., no sex, no little Granthams. But wait — no, he’s not really injured after all, and he’s going to be able to walk, and he’s going to be able to f***! Yay!

So, everything’s hunky dory. Oh wait, no it’s not. It’s not because that old fool Lord Grantham has invested the money – that Matthew would inherit – in an actual, real-life Ponzi scheme! So the money is gone, and the Downton Abbey world is now land-poor. Unless something big comes to save them, well, they’ll be boring B&B hosts and Matthew will be spending his time making scones and clearing pathways through the woods for rich Americans. Unimaginable horrors!

But then, oh, wait again! Turns out Lavinia’s (you remember her, the Saint who died of the flu so Matthew and Mary could be together, dontchaknow) father has died and left Matthew (again, the only heir around) a whole boatload of money to save Downton Abbey!

The foolish boy is not going to take it, he feels so guilty (as he should) but you know he ends up taking it like we knew he would all along. Cause once you’re rich, well, you get used to it. I mean, the show’s called Downton Abbey, not Downton Townhouse.

So you see, things were just too good, and not just good, they were really unfair. That karma had to come back and bite Matthew Crawley but good.

So, I think he’s really dead.

* fairly c***y

** and thank you cousin Mary C. for the “oh, wait” meme. So good I stole it.

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