I live vicariously through Ben Schmidt. You might say he’s a version of me in some other, more extroverted dimension. Or maybe not. I don’t know that for sure, but he does do things I would never do.

I just know that I created Ben when I wrote “Benediction” awhile back, to help me deal with my feelings around having cancer. Not just the feelings, but also the narrative. Cause it was a good story – at least I thought so. And it served its purpose of being therapeutic.

When I was inventing the fictional biography, one of the prompts I read in the many books I consulted was “which Hollywood star would play your character in the movie version of the novel?” 

At the time I thought of two actors I liked / thought were handsome, and I guess these two still would be awesome choices for a movie of “Benediction” or “Benefits.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here, then, is the bio:

Ben Schmidt (Benjamin Kanner Schmidt, full name)

• Male
• 5-10
• 53 (in 2010), born in 1957, in Milwaukee
• slender/muscular (good shape for age)
• most striking feature is his blue eyes
• brown hair with some gray around the temples, natural
• Ben wears preppy clothes to work
• Ben wears jeans and t-shirts for leisure
• Ben’s clean-shaven. Sometimes he lets that five o’clock shadow thing go.
• Ben has a tattoo on his LEFT shoulder, a bleeding heart
• Ben’s half German, half Irish. No one ever guesses. Sometimes, people ask him if he’s Jewish.
• Health: he thought it was good. Other than cancer, he’s pretty healthy!
• Special interests: staying sober or not, making movies, movies, gay sex…

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• Profession: Marketing. Wants to be a film director, though. That’s the secret passion. (Somewhat subdued in sequel)
• Income: low six figures (in “Benediction” – that goes away in “Benefits”)
• Residence: rental, San Francisco, funky, mice (a house in “Benefits”)
• Talent: good at the big picture, shrewd, has a good BS detector
• Single, gay
• Good reputation both business and personal, although he is known among his friends for having a lot of boyfriends in succession, never seems to keep one for very long – until Jake.
• Having affair with Jake upstairs. Also, fuckbuddy Eric. Has a roving eye and will have at least two other affairs during the course of this book, one with a cancer doctor, the other with an Italian at a film festival. SIDEKICK? (yes, that is Karen Kling) – different and more affairs in “Benefits” – he’s still horny. 
• Loves: going out to nice restaurants. Listening to old rock and roll (keeps this a secret) Going to the movies alone, on the spur of the moment, going on vacations to tropical places
• Hates cooking, doing laundry, going to work on time, listening to bosses, going to meetings at work.

Children: he has none. But – he likes kids well enough Special relationship with brother Vince’s small children? (nieces and nephews). This all changes in “Benefits.”

Pets: Had a dog who died that he never got over. Her name was Connie. She was a dachshund. 

Hidden, secret weakness: wants to get high all the time. Wants drugs. Also, believes he is a worthless person sometimes, Glenda really reinforces that.

Dream for the future: Wants to stop working at what he’s doing and be more creative, like being a movie director. Heavy belief in magic, a flaw, and part of this is his vision of the Dead Dudes.

Parents:

Mother, Margaret. Father: Anthony Schmidt. They are divorced. Margaret Schmidt volunteers and is from a wealthy German family that makes toilet fixtures. Anthony is retired, and lives in Florida with a much younger woman, who is an entrepreneur. Beauty schools. What’s her name? Jackie. He was an electrical engineering professor at MSOE.

Siblings: Sister, Ellen in Madison. Brother, Vince in Milwaukee. Their families? Ellen is divorced, no children. Vince is married and has some kids.

Hometown: Milwaukee, moved away after college.

Grew up in a semi-mansion overlooking Lake Michigan. Sex and drugs as a teen in the park nearby, pretty standard. 

Education: Bachelor’s degree in English. Grad School drop-out

Always wanted to be: a gymnast – still dreams about this on occasion. More magic, as he is in his 50s. 

Frightened by: the dark, thunder, gangs of straight teenage boys

Angered by: People who are not as smart as he. Not patient. Fate, when it doesn’t go his way. Things he cannot control.

Is annoyed by: lack of a sense of humor, dullness, people who can’t make up their minds.

Is attracted by: directness, a smile, competence.

Finds this funny: Tom Hanks, the Republicans, AbFab, Margaret Cho – but doesn’t laugh all that easy, maybe easier than most. Rather than seeing humor in things, he sees the sadness, but tries to make it funny via dry humor or sarcasm.

Favorite Foods, Drinks: He’s a secret meat eater, even though he knows this is not politically correct now! He likes steak. Filet mignon. Etc. Drinks: He’s addicted to diet Coke, even though he knows it’s bad for him. Secretly, he’d like to try all those drinks that became popular since he’s been sober, like cosmopolitans, martinis, mojitos etc. Also, he’d like to try drugs that became popular, like Ecstasy. (he does in “Benediction.”)

Favorite place to Hang Out: He likes going to Buena Vista Park, to contemplate – but also, it’s disingenuous, he likes to cruise there but would NEVER admit it. He likes Griffith Park in LA for the same reason. He likes certain places (bars) in New York, in Vegas, in SF and in LA. In LA it’s MJs (this is a real place, now closed). In SF it’s Powerhouse. 

Ideal Vacation: Away from publicity and phones and all that. Has done Hawaii, looking for another private Island. Somewhere other South Pacific. Also American road trips.

Listens to what kind of music: Stuff from when he was growing up, so there is a lot of classic rock (Beach Boys, Jethro Tull, the Who, the Beatles, Neil Young) there. Also, 80s pop music. Sometimes Show tunes, but he hides this. Techno dance music, a secret indulgence.

Past Trauma or formative event: He’s been gaybashed. They robbed him and beat him up, breaking an arm. He has a scar on his chin from this incident. (Many more, but this is the one I felt relevant to his character.)

Looks up to what heroes or role models: (my own) John Sayles, Arthur Dong (documentarian), Alan Ball, Tolkien characters, Kennedys, etc. Also, he had a lover who died from AIDS, Wayne.

Keepsake from the past, and what it represents:  Music box, which a former lover, who died, passed on to him. It’s for treasures. He puts the most important stuff in this box: “Wayne’s Box.”

Next time, I’ll do a bio for Ben’s partner Jake Brosseau. And, with any luck, I’ll have a release date for “Benefits.”