Category Archives: Gay Mid-Life: Musings

Wayne Hoffman, David LeBarron and Eriq Moreno read at October’s Homo-Centric

Hank Henderson at Homo-Centric

Hank Henderson gave us three wildly engaging writers last night in his monthly Homo-Centric event at Stories Books in Echo Park.

Wayne Hoffman reads from "Sweet Like Sugar" at Stories in Echo Park

First up was my good friend Wayne Hoffman from New York, who is on a book tour with his latest book, “Sweet Like Sugar.” Wayne read two selections, one, a flashback to gay teen unease, and the other, a college hook-up narrative taking place in Miami. Both were from the lead character, Benji’s, point of view. I haven’t read the book yet but am already in love with Benji! Wayne’s also reading tonight (Friday, October 21) at 7 pm at Q Trading in Palm Springs, and tomorrow night (Saturday, October 22) he will be back in L.A. on the west side at the Barnes and Noble at Westside Pavilion (Pico and Westwood) at 7 pm.

David LeBarron reads at Stories Echo Park

 

 
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David LeBarron read a delightful, hilarious, and also quite gay children’s story about two women, Ginger and Mary Ann, who struggle to get permission to marry. Rest assured fans of “Gilligan’s Island” will like this one. David hosts a monthly “series for smart adults and savvy kids,” Apt 3F, on the 3rd Friday of every month (that’s tonight, kids) at world-famous Akbar, 8 p.m. (It’s a bar, so kids in this sense means those over 21)

Eriq Moreno reads at Stories in EP

Third was Eriq Moreno, who made his reading debut at Homo-Centric! He read a short story of the day-in-the-life of a resident of L.A.’s skid row. Congratulations, Eriq, I know we’re going to be hearing much more from you.

Thanks again to Hank Henderson who fiercely holds space for Queer Words every month in L.A. It’s amazing what he’s created in a little over a year and a half!

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No second trial in murdered gay teen case, gay rights group urges

No second trial in murdered gay teen case, gay rights group urges

courtesy Los Angeles Times

Link above, but there’s an update: They decided to retry the murderer of Larry King, Brandon McInerney, after all, still as an adult, but without the hate crime allegation. Now we have jurors from the first trial expressing a wish for leniency on the murderer, that in fact he was “bullied” by the victim, a classic case of the “homosexual panic” defense.

This makes me insane!

Can we have a little genderfuck scenario, please, as a bit of illustration just in case some can’t see the blatant homophobia here? Let’s pretend, for an instant, that the victim was a pretty, straight, 15 year old girl, “Jaye.” She’s popular in her school, perhaps she’s a cheerleader or some other kind of teenage extrovert, happily secure in her heterosexuality, so much so that when she meets “Larry,” a classmate who just happens to be a gay kid, Jaye can’t resist the urge to try and “change” him by overt flirting, perhaps exchanging some words back and forth over the period of a semester.

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We can certainly understand what happened. Jaye was “bullying” Larry; we can understand his revenge even though it was a little extreme. But it’s certainly understandable that gay kids would go into “heterosexual panic” when threatened, so in a way, the killing was justified because of Jaye’s actions, in other words, she brought it on herself.

Let’s assume for an instant, dear reader, that the above scenario is what played out. Can you imagine for a second that we’d be having this conversation about this murder not being a hate crime or even all that serious to begin with?

No, you cannot, because our society is biased toward the majority, toward heterosexuals. Brandon McInerney should be retried for murder, with the hate crime clause intact. IMHO, this kid knew exactly what he was doing. He killed his classmate because Larry was gay.


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Homo-Centric at West Hollywood Book Fair

Yesterday (Sunday, October 2 2011) was the West Hollywood Book Fair, concurrent with the grand opening of the new (beauteous!) library in West Hollywood Park.

Homo-Centric booth (thanks Hank Henderson!)

Like last year, I was invited to read something at the Homo-Centric tent (thank you Hank Henderson) and was delighted to do so. Also like last year, what I read was from my novel-in-progress, but the same novel-in- progress as a year ago!

attentive listeners to John Boucher

It’s called The Forest Dark, from the Dante quotation pertaining to midlife, about losing our way, about not knowing which way to turn in the dark wood. Apparently, I’m not knowing which way to turn in my dark home office, either, as the damn thing isn’t done.

To my credit, I will say it’s way more done than last year. So there’s been progress. I wish I was a faster writer. Maybe someday. I still contend that the internet has given me a shorter attention span and I have to use helpers like Freedom and Leechblock to get through any quality time on creative writing.

John Boucher

Richard Villegas reading, Hank Henderson second from left

Kyle T. Wilson reading, Richard Villegas on the right

captive audience!

For your enjoyment and perusal, here is the extract of what I read from Forest Dark, as well as some pictures of me and other morning readers (sorry all the rest of you Homo-Centrics, I had to leave early, though I’ve seen plenty of afternoon pix on Facebook):

Jim Arnold reading at West Hollywood Book Fair, 2011

The Novel’s called The Forest Dark. It’s about the relationship of a gay man, Noah, and his straight female friend, Eden, over the course of about 25 years.

At this point in the story they’ve been separated for most of that time — but Eden’s recently returned to LA for a job and they’ve reconnected in their 50s. This piece comes right after Noah takes a new job as a caretaker at Precious Blood, which is a Catholic retreat house owned by some nuns. Eden’s excited about an upcoming reality show taping, and she’s on the phone with him. The selection is told from Noah’s point of view:

START:

Eden had called twice before but he’d ignored her and only picked up on the third try.  It was the stress level, he thought, already high from that first presentation group at Precious Blood.

Which went surprisingly well. It had to, as there was no way Noah could afford to lose this job.

“How did it go – your first day, right?” she asked.

He wondered if she was mocking him.

            “No bad, not bad,” he said. “They gave me this gray shirt and pants to wear – like in prison.”

She was quiet. He read her quickly: Noah Baldock had shown so much potential, so much ambition when he was younger. This latest development was really just … depressing.

“Will you wear that on Louie’s show?”

He was making the final rounds of the property for the day, not only checking locks but also looking for anything out of order, a possible clue to something more sinister, the real value to his new employer.

“No one’s said anything about it to me one way or the other. Have you been given some wardrobe instructions, Eden?”

From the convent residence above where he stood, he could hear the nuns singing grace before dinner.

“Actually, this woman called me, said I should ‘reflect that New York social circle’ I run with!” She laughed. “I can’t believe we’re going to be on TV with all these kids!”

Noah took the stone steps down from the main level to the back door of his gatehouse. The scarlet bougainvillea on the property was overgrown and he pushed a branch out of the way. A thorn scraped along his forearm, making a nice, wet, red line.

“Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?” Eden asked.

Inside the small apartment, boxes were still stacked against the wall, though the computer on his desk hummed.

“I cut my arm,” he said, grabbing a towel to stanch the bleed.

“You OK?”

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“I can come over. Or, I could call Louie, he’s closer – ”

“I’M FINE!”

 

 

*   *   *

            The Precious Blood gatehouse had a door built right into the outer wall, meant for packages and vendors and such, but equally useful for tricks, Noah figured.

He all but hung up on Eden. Noah was as angry with himself as he was with her – after all these years, still falling for her shit, being on the yanking end of that von Eiff chain.

Bitch should’ve stayed in New York, she’ll only fuck up everything Louie’s got going, he thought.

            There was a little silver bell hung on the outside of this door, something an old nun would’ve thought heavenly. It rang.

This would be Mockingbird.

The dark-skinned, dark-haired man wore a black t-shirt and black jeans and black, ankle-high boots. The blue, green and yellow of a parrot tattoo on his forearm stood out as the only bit of color.

            “Finally,” Noah said, pulling Mockingbird in by the arm so he could shut the door quickly.

“So – this is your new place,” the younger man said, taking it in, a thin smile on his handsome face.

Noah had “met” Mockingbird online, but his constant text-spelling mistakes proved problematic. He’d then run into him for real at the Eagle one night, and those earlier failings were forgotten.

Mockingbird was shorter and rougher; as far as Noah was concerned, the perfect friend with benefits. He didn’t even care if he never found out what his “real” name was, undoubtedly something mundane like Hector or Juan.

“You like it?”

The main floor was all one big room, with the kitchen set off by a sparkly, formica-covered “bar” someone must’ve added in the 1960s. At the far end, next to the bathroom and the door that led to the interior courtyard, was a narrow brick staircase leading up to the loft bedroom.

“It’ll take some getting used to,” Noah said, placing his hand against Mockingbird’s chest, his fingers a lazy circle in search of a nipple. “I was in the old place for almost 30 years.”

Mockingbird grabbed Noah’s forearm and squeezed it, hard. “Don’t remind me, you’re older than my father and I don’t want to think about that.” He twisted it, making Noah gasp. He used his other hand to push Noah’s shoulder down, forcing him to his knees.

Noah knew this script well. He pulled at the younger man’s belt buckle but had only got it part way undone when Mockingbird slapped him across the face.

“Not so fast, old man. You got your bed here somewhere, am I right?”

“It’s upstairs.”

“Sir.”

“It’s upstairs, sir.” His cheek smarted – but this was only the beginning.

Mockingbird pushed Noah up the steps and he tripped.

“Get your ass up there!” Mockingbird lifted him by his belt and shoved him further.

“Quiet, sir, I don’t want to disturb the nuns.”

“Fucking nuns, I’ll show your goddamn nuns!”

Noah could only pray that the hard slaps Mockingbird then delivered, along with his resulting sighs and yelps, got mixed in with traffic noise and the occasional helicopter flyovers. He couldn’t even begin to think what Octavia and her sisters would do if they knew what was going on.

After he let Mockingbird out an hour later, he ran a hot bath in the small tub, while Harry Connick, Jr. played the piano on a CD. Noah’s ass was red from the spanking he got and his butthole sore from Mockingbird’s aggressive fuck.

For once he didn’t care about Jivan or Eden or Louie’s stupid reality show. He sank back into the lilac bubbles and closed his eyes.

*   *   *

So dear reader, tell me: what do you do to keep the nuns from hearing your sex noises?

 

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Folsom Street Fair, 2011

Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, yesterday. Pictures, in this case, speak louder than words. It was a great weekend but I am tired.

UPDATE, 9/27/11. OK, this post has now gotten WAY more views than any other blog post in my two years or so of doing this! Now I know what it is you want to see. Not that I’m surprised.

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Bachmann Klinik engaged in “gay to straight” bogus therapy

;

I love that hot young gay men are now undercover spies. (See Video) More problematic? Presidential aspirants involved in widely disparaged and debunked forms of psychotherapy, specifically here, alleged gay-to-straight therapy.

Michelle Bachmann and her husband Marcus own and operate this clinic in suburban Minneapolis. That they are using this ineffective therapy is but the tip of the iceberg – is this clinic accepting government funds (as in Medicaid) for religious indoctrination? Last I checked, that was still a violation of the law. I don’t know whether or not Marcus Bachmann is a closeted gay man, as others have asked. I don’t really care.

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I’m looking forward to learning more about the Bachmann Clinic and its work. I hope that organizations like Truth Wins Out and standard news organizations step up the investigations. At the rate we’re going, it’s appearing that the Bachmanns are just piling on the batshit crazy, instead of seriously trying to eliminate any of it.

Not that you’re surprised.

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On heterosexual privilege: A List

Daily Kos: On heterosexual privilege.

I thought this was interesting. We don’t normally think of the world as being set up as a heterosexist enterprise, although that is the default position of the majority. So, the items in this list might not be apparent to most if they’re not pointed out. Helpfully, both the diary linked above and Davey Wavey’s site (a young man, allergic to shirts, not a bad thing, in his case) listed these.

I don’t know who to credit for the list, but thank you:

The Heterosexual Privilege Checklist
On a daily basis, a heterosexual person:

  1. I can be pretty sure that my roomate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
  2. If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
  3. When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
  4. I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
  5. I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE f*g tag or smear the queer).
  6. I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
  7. I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
  8. I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
  9. I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation. [And that no one will accuse educators, school board members, or government officials of attempting to “promote” that sexual orientation by including those materials. –musing85]
  10. People don’t ask why [or when] I made my choice of sexual orientation.
  11. People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
  12. I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It’s assumed.
  13. My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
  14. People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
  15. I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
  16. I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
  17. I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
  18. I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
  19. Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
  20. I have no need to qualify my heterosexual identity.
  21. My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
  22. I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
  23. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
  24. If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
  25. Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
  26. I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in my workplace.
  27. I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
  28. I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
  29. I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
  30. I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
  31. I can go for months without being called straight.
  32. I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
  33. My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
  34. In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
  35. People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
  36. I can kiss a person of the opposite gender on the heart or in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
  37. Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
  38. People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out” ) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer” ) .
  39. I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
  40. I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.

Now I don’t really know anyone, gay or straight, whose life is a bed of roses. So I know it’s not easy out there, but still…

Congratulations again to all the New Yorkers who are going to be married soon!

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Just 2 defendants remain in Warm Sands Sex Sting Case

the offensive parking lot where the "cruising" took place.

LINK: 2 defendants remain in Warm Sands sex sting case

I’ve been under the weather a bit, and slightly behind because of working in L.A. this week. But I saw this in the Desert Sun this morning, so good reason to link to it here.
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I’m happy to see that this entrapment case is largely going away after two years. For me, a huge takeaway from this is that sometimes – even though our enemies may be many and strong – it really does pay to make a stand for what is right and just. In this case, it was rampant institutionalized homophobia in the local police force and in the former (now unelected) Riverside County District Attorney. It’s nice to see the bad guys lose on occasion.

Now, it appears these unfortunate men caught up in this ridiculous entrapment sting can hopefully get on with their lives.

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11 of 14 men take plea bargains in Warm Sands sex sting

Link to: 11 of 14 men take plea bargains in Warm Sands sex sting

the offensive parking lot.

Well, finally, this is mostly over (the Warm Sands Sex Sting) for those men “allegedly” entrapped and busted over in Warm Sands for exposing themselves.

I took this photo of the offending parking lot this morning on the way back from yoga. At least this morning, no one was hiding behind one of the bushes or the palm trees waiting for a homo to walk by.

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Give me a f**king break. We live in a town where straight prostitutes hang out on bus benches and take their johns to side streets for in-car blowjobs. Where is the crackdown on that, PSPD?

We live in a town where there’s a water park with frequent and ongoing reports of public, straight groping and sex! Shocking! Where is the crackdown on those lusty teenagers, PSPD?

Thought so. You don’t care. You only cared about a few gay men at a well-established gay cruising spot doing nothing that offended anyone (there were never any complaints – NO ONE ever goes there other than gay men) EXCEPT the officers of the PSPD. Well, we know what happened: after hearing about the Sting, the community became outraged and eventually, the police chief had to resign.

Dominquez did the right thing. I can only hope that eventually the PSPD hires enough gay-friendly officers to put the bad feelings behind, though I suspect the mistrust will now continue for years. Not that the gay community is any stranger to police discord…

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After threats, no evidence of gay boycott of Palm Springs

Desert Sun story: After threats, no evidence of gay boycott of Palm Springs.

from PS Pride 2010

I’m certainly relieved to know that gay tourists and others won’t boycott PS as a result of the ill-advised Warm Sands Sex Sting in 2009.
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The Sting, in which the Palm Springs police allegedly used entrapment techniques to lure gay men into exposing themselves in the gay resort-heavy Warm Sands area, has become a lightning rod (pun intended) for selective enforcement issues – for example, it seems gay men have been selectively targeted for this kind of sting even though the majority straight population has never been targeted for their own anecdotally documented public sex habits.

This Sting became so much of an issue that Palm Springs Police Chief Dominquez was forced to resign. IMHO, he did the right thing. Hopefully, eventually, all charges will be dropped against the men involved in this alleged entrapment and Palm Springs will find a police force that works in concert with the public they are sworn to protect and serve.

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Born Gay, Born This Way…

link to: borngaybornthisway blog

Borngaybornthisway

This is a shout-out to my friend Paul V for his new, incredibly fantastic blog called “Born Gay Born This Way,” which is linked above. The blog features photos of boys and girls being themselves at early ages, apparently already completely gay or lesbian. Who knew? Well, we did.

We’ve always known we were born this way, no matter how strident the voices of religion, school, family or government were, we knew the real truth and it came pouring out, as you will see in this photos. Whether it was love for a diva, a love of sparkly things or just power tools, no recruitment was ever needed.

Basically, it’s an Visit This Link canadian viagra samples oral medicament and capsule form drug. Since men and women go through their respective transitions as they age. discount brand viagra Low-priced generic levitra online see here now levitra invariably is an highly-priced pharmaceutical whether it’s unavailable for approved. This medicine is an excellent cheap viagra discount solution even for the soft types. The stories are, to a one, touching. A common thread I picked up reading these wonderful pieces was that as adults looking back, there is a wistfulness for that innocent time when we were allowed to be ourselves. At some point, most likely coinciding with the onset of adolescence, this queer behavior was no longer tolerated and the offender was coerced into conforming to the cultural expectation of what makes a straight boy or straight girl.

Some gay kids were able to adapt and hide themselves; for others it was clearly impossible. As sad and unfortunate that part of the story is, all the respondents seemed to be happy as gay adults and are able to reconcile with their childhood selves and the persons they eventually became.

It’s great stuff. I urge you to take an hour and read through these stories from all over the world.

Paul’s an LA-based club legend and DJ who is hosting his infamous Dragstrip 66 tonight. I’m going!

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