That Whole Daddy Thang

My daddy photo.

My daddy photo.

OK, first of all, Alan Cumming as a daddy? I don’t think so. Also, Tom Ford is a little too fancy-schmancy to be a daddy. He can be of a certain age, for sure: most of us get there, and we’re lucky to be there. Anderson maybe, but just barely; I believe he’s what you might call prematurely gray, therefore prematurely daddy. Though I’m certainly not complaining. . . and the fourth photo, I don’t know who this guy is, but obviously that’s to my detriment, as not only is said subject quite attractive, he’s also apparently famous enough to be photographed in front of a step-and-repeat banner. I blame this not on senility but on my aversion to pop culture; I simply don’t watch enough TV. Cause let’s face it, I’m an old fart.

This is a well-written and funny article, as everything Mike Albo touches is. I enjoyed it very much. That’s not to say that this “daddy” thing is anything new at all; I think it might be new to the writer and so we all see things from our own perspective. And that’s fine.

I’ve been treading in the dangerous daddy waters now for quite a few years (more or less 15 years longer than a certain writer). And thank the goddess for that! There was a time in my late 30s – early 40s where I could not get arrested in a gay bar or in an AOL chat room (yes, Mary, I’m that old). But then age takes over, as it will, and suddenly guys my age still don’t want anything to do with me, but college men (and probably a few years older, up to about 30 or so) do.

I started seeing younger men around the turn of the century, and I’ll never forget the first time I took a college student out to dinner (I was in my early 40s at the time). A really good way to be put in your place and to be totally ignored by the “free market” — by that I mean the turning heads at the restaurant were 100% about my very attractive dark curly-haired date, and I might as well have been invisible. Maybe I was!

I’m still “Facebook friends” with this person, though he lives a continent away now. That one either got away, or just didn’t last, but I’ve continued to enjoy the occasional attentions of men that age, always constantly amazed that they’re interested in such a difference in years.

One of the nicest things about this kind of attraction from the younger set is that they really are interested in someone who’s genuinely older; as in, there’s no expectation of a six-pack (at least of the abdominal variety) or a smooth body, no wrinkles and hair with a full complement of pigment. No, what attracts these guys is maturity in look and in attitude. Given the general unforgiving nature and youth worship of our gay culture, it’s a relief being valued for WYSIWYG (even if it might be someone’s fetish).

The one thing in the article I might take an issue with is where Mike says that his group of 40-something guys is the largest group of gay-identified men to grow older – I’d like to know where the stats on that come from. The generation that’s older – the Baby Boomers – just has way, way more people in it, gay and straight and all the rest. Even despite AIDS mortality, I think that’s still a bigger group of out gay men who are getting older.

Anyway, I’m glad daddies continue to be popular. We certainly don’t want to be going anywhere anytime soon!

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