Link to: Employers Won’t Hire The Jobless Because Of The ‘Desperate Vibe’.

Interesting article. Suggests that those who have been unemployed for a while emit this desperation, this hungry look, like starving dogs salivating for a handout of wilted french fries.

I guess there’s some truth to that. At the same time, extraordinary times like these require extraordinary measures. Thus, for the purposes of securing a job interview, maybe nobody has to be unemployed who doesn’t want to be.

Please explain!

Job counselors always suggest that the main purpose of a resume is to secure that all-important face-to-face interview. Substance, be damned! We’re encouraged by those who are supposed to know about such things, to tailor our resumes individually for each and every job opening, borrowing and parroting key words and phrases used in the job description so that Company XYZ’s scanners spit out our CV indicating “YES! This one looks like a fit!”

It’s not so much that you actually have any knowledge or experience in what they are looking for as it is that you can convince them that you do in person. I can tell you, from being on the hiring end of such things, rarely does the mid-size company have the wherewithal to check every little thing – especially one or two jobs back – especially colleges you might or might not have attended – especially awards, volunteer positions, board memberships, and – you get the message.

He’s encouraging us to lie!
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OK, again, extraordinary times require extraordinary measures. Mostly, these are little white lies for the purpose of supporting yourself through your own contributions – and I would think that most would be happy with that philosophy, as it buys right into the American myth of that old can-do pioneer spirit, that pulling yourself up by your bootstraps mentality, all of that. So I lied about my qualifications! Did I do a good job once I got there?

Exceptions: brain surgeons. U.S. Senators. Airline pilots.

If it’s just not possible to make up a current job, you’re a self-employed entrepreneur. Doing what, you ask? Does it matter? It will be really hard to prove a negative, that you’re not doing what you say you are doing. It shows initiative, it shows job creation and creativity. In fact, make your non-existent company as creative as possible. Again, you’ll come to a point where the person you’re meeting with won’t have the time to check this.

References? If you can’t come up with legitimate references who will unquestioningly paint you in a favorable light, recruit some. Give your friends lofty titles and backgrounds. Remember, extraordinary measures.

Sure, there’s that caveat on all job apps where it says that if you’re caught lying it’s immediate dismissal time, etc. These days, with so many management types your competitors to find jobs, there’s no one left to check.

So don’t despair. Put on the performance of your life and bring home your own Oscar!